In a segment that started out with a cringey flashback to Brian Stelter circa 2007, Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld thoroughly poked fun at the equally cringey CIA “woke” recruitment video that has also prompted national, if not international, ridicule.
“You’ve got to wonder what the world thinks of this. Our enemies are giggling like Don Lemon on a bicycle,” the Fox News Channel host of “Gutfeld!” quipped about the federal government’s fundamentally misplaced priorities, especially with a responsibility as vital as national security.
“The fact is, we have foreign enemies who dream of nothing more than killing each one of us everyday. And I doubt that Oprah-level, university-approved talking points about gender and race would scare them,” Gutfeld explained, using humor, as he often does, to address a serious issue.
The satirist began the on-air segment with a clip of Lemon’s Fox-obsessed colleague on CNN appearing on Gutfeld’s show “Red Eye” back in the day (before his CNN gig) juxtaposed with Stelter’s now dismissiveness about the new show.
“So why wouldn’t he defend me, considering I gave him his start in cable news? With hair, he’s like a little adorable hamster,” Gutfeld joked in another of his signature polemics, embedded below in two parts.
Gutfeld then turned his attention to the ultra-PC video itself. In the universally derided hiring promo, a CIA employee, among a litany of identity politics buzzwords, describes herself as “a cisgender millennial who’s been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I am intersectional, but my existence is not a box-checking exercise.”
“Wait; didn’t she just check every box? By the way, who actually says ‘I’m intersectional’? I mean, besides my couch,” Gutfeld continued.
“They replaced CIA with TMI. Talk about oversharing. How can this person go undercover? Aren’t spies supposed to have a secret identity and not identify openly as 18 different things?” he wondered.
“The whole point of being in the CIA is not being true to our identity, whether your Latinx or Scottish — especially if you’re Scottish. The bagpipes are a dead giveaway,” he added.
(Video: Fox News)
As many others have observed, Gutfeld also alluded to the expectation that campus activists, post-graduation, would adjust to the realities of the workplace, which turned out to be overly optimistic. Instead, they have made the corporate and government job site a woke-place.
“So I say, get over yourself or selves. But sadly, wokeness is now how we do business, and even the CIA is in on it. Man, I was dumb. I thought that kind of PC bilge had an expiration date once you graduated, like playing hacky-sack or listening to Cat Stevens,” Gutfeld quipped.
“The understanding was that this stuff was worthless once you left college, but I was wrong. The wokesters are now officially everywhere. They are drowning us with their box-checking vernacular,” Gutfeld added.
“Could you imagine being interrogated by a new-age agent. Talk about torture…you will confess to anything to prevent them from droning on about themselves,” he said. “This video is not exactly top secret, and this woman is serving our country, so good for her. But every blinking Yahoo on this planet can see how silly America’s premier intelligence agency actually is. Even Twitter laughed, but not the CIA.”
That the CIA bureaucracy green-lighted this video is problematic, to use one of the liberals’ favorite words, Gutfeld implied.
“These videos came out of multiple meetings and strategy sessions. The fact that they put this out there is a kind of a huge blind spot. Spy agencies shouldn’t have blind spots. It’s like your dad getting an earring for his 50th birthday.
“Maybe this video might even get people to join the CIA, but me, this level of malarkey couldn’t get me to join an orgy. But maybe that’s the point. One more nonbinary, intersectional type means one less angry white male like me on staff…,” the Fox News host said.
(Source: Fox News)
Interspersed with the monologue were bits about an “angry white male’ with comedian Tom Shillue and another actor playing a reimagined, soy-latte-drinking, PC James Bond whose motto is “no guns, no gambling, no girls.”
In a callback to “Mission Impossible,” Gutfeld concluded that “Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to reject virtue signaling of all kinds.”
Liberals and Democrats traditionally were extremely skeptical of the CIA and similar agencies, as well as big business. Based on current trend lines, however, the intelligence services and corporate America have become significant, and perhaps unquestioned, components of the liberal base.
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