Incredibly Shrinking Kamala: ‘It’s almost like she was abducted by aliens!’ says Gutfeld

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Vice President Kamala Harris is certainly one of a kind. Just not in a good way.

According to successful comedian and Fox News host Greg Gutfeld, Harris is uniquely horrible in every which way imaginable — and it shows.

“[A] recent USA Today poll has the vice president at 35 percent approval, 54 percent disapproval. That’s insane for a VP just seven months in. Harris is 19 points underwater. If she sunk any lower, she’d qualify for shark week,” he revealed during Wednesday’s edition of his hit late-night program, “Gutfeld!

Polling numbers for a vice president haven’t been this bad since 1993, according to Bill McInturff of Public Opinion Strategies.

It’s no surprise though, according to Gutfeld, considering the vice president has been missing in action throughout so much of President Joe Biden’s presidency, but especially so amid the crisis in Afghanistan.

“It’s been really hard to gauge the vice president’s performance during this Afghanistan fiasco. Mainly because she’s been harder to find than a non-binary Taliban leader, which basically means he sleeps with both women and goats,” the comedian quipped.

“It’s almost like she was abducted by aliens! And not the ones pouring across our southern border. And honestly, I am starting to miss her. Her gravitas. Her sincerity. Her compassion towards looters and arsonists. But also, I really miss her soothing laugh,” he added.

Who doesn’t?

Listen to Gutfeld’s monologue below:

(VIdeo: Fox News)

Of course, Harris does have an excuse you know.

“While the country endured a week and a half of horrible news, we heard that Kamala went on a trip to Vietnam. Hmmm, why does that name ring a bell?” Gutfeld noted.

Vietnam is home to Saigon, which brings to mind the Fall of Saigon, the humiliating moment in 1975 when Americans had to be airlifted out of Vietnam as U.S. forces withdrew in total defeat.

Sound familiar?

“[S]he left [the United States] faster than the last U.S. helicopter out of Saigon in 1975. She stopped over at Pearl Harbor. Fair enough,” the comedian continued.

The Pearl Harbor part was a joke. He was basically acting like Harris has been touring the world to learn more about past military tragedies.

Why was he acting this way? To prep his viewers for the next joke.

“[I]f she’s interested in military tragedies, there is one she’s presiding over currently. But I guess it’s fitting: Kamala’s approval rating is also a dive-bombing zero,” he said.

And that’s ironic, because it wasn’t that long ago that the media were acting as if she represented the return of Christ, claiming she’s a “historical consequential figure” and that she “has the potential to change the face of U.S. politics.”

But months later, this doesn’t seem to be the case.

“Sorry, this dame couldn’t change the lint filter in your dryer — which is where they harvest Joe’s hair,” Gutfeld pointed out.

“But still – she was always the anointed one. But now, this big deal has vanished like food left on a tray in a hotel hallway two doors down from Brian Stelter’s room,” he added, throwing in a fat joke aimed at notorious Democrat Party sycophant Brian Stelter.

“Since she took office, she’s not held one solo press conference. And she’s no longer doing one-on-one interviews. Wow, what a powerful display of feminism. And you know Hillary’s sitting at home in her robe drinking a Bud, watching Harris on TV and going ‘Are you s****ing me!?'” the Fox News host continued.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a hardcore feminist infamous for her obsessive desire to be America’s first female president. Like others on the left, she cares more about one’s immutable traits than one’s credentials.

The irony is that a vice president who does nothing and says nothing is apparently “what happens when you’re chosen based only on intersectionality, not competence,” Gutfeld noted.

“And she hasn’t done anything memorable. It’s a rare feat to be both invisible and unpopular. Which might be why Kamala’s Secret Service code name is silent but deadly. She’s the human version of carbon monoxide,” he added.

“But maybe it’s a strategy. The more you see of her the worse it gets, so keep her under wraps. It’s kind of like Michael Moore in a thong. No….nothing is like Michael Moore in a thong and I apologize for placing that image in your head,” he continued.

This, of course, leaves the Democrat Party in the ultimate “pickle.” On one hand, they have a president who’s allegedly senile and very unlikely to be “a second termer.” But on the other hand, they have one of the most unlikable vice presidents in U.S. history.

“Joe is publicly bad. Kamala is nowhere to be found. Keeping her under wraps as he implodes – that might make sense. With inflation, crime, COVID, spending, and now Afghanistan, perhaps the real strategy is making Joe look so bad, he exits earlier than expected. Like a starting pitcher who gives up eight runs in the first inning,” Gutfeld said.

It’s possible …

“If that’s the Democrats’ plan I’ve got two words for them: mission accomplished. I’ve got two other words for the Dems, but this is a family show. But after so many bad things happening this fast, maybe anything different looks good. Including even someone you can’t even find. Like Kamala,” Gutfeld continued.

“The Democrat Party is like me in my single days. After 8 drinks in and at last call, I’d go home with a panda. And during that vacation in Singapore. I did,” he added, concluding the segment.


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