In the annals of clueless mainstream media gun pieces, USA Today really outdid itself.
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) November 8, 2017
In unintentional self-parody worthy of The Onion, the mainstream publication dialed up the gun control hysteria to an 11 following a tragic Texas church shooting that was literally stopped by a “good guy with a gun.”
As if to further defy the gun control narrative, the hero was Stephen Willeford, an NRA instructor who shot and relentlessly pursued the killer Devin Kelley until he had fled the scene of the First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs, Texas.
Since there are so many things defying the obvious need to disarm law-abiding Americans after a horrific tragedy and prevent them from defending themselves from violent criminals like Kelley, the media literally has begun making things up.
Not entirely out of whole cloth, mind you. The USA Today’s “chainsaw attachment,” though ridiculous, had been modified a few times by imaginative gun enthusiasts in case of, you know, the zombie apocalypse.
Wow.. one really exist lmao https://t.co/bKU3cY6ybQ
— O dot (@OdotJdot) November 9, 2017
There’s the Lancer Assault Rifle from Gears of War familiar to video game players out there, though that’s probably not what USA Today had in mind.
The hits keep on comin’ for USA Today, as people who actually know about guns mocked it mercilessly.
— Julio Rosas (@Julio_Rosas11) November 8, 2017
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 8, 2017
I'll see your patented rifle with rifle bayonet with rifle bayonet, and raise you a rifle with rifle bayonet with rifle bayonet with chainsaw bayonet with cigarette attachment. Extra deadly. pic.twitter.com/ZvC5YQsl8x
— Tom GFY (@tjerubbaal) November 9, 2017
— Leatherneck (@Leatherneck) November 9, 2017
— Jerry Dunleavy (@JerryDunleavy) November 8, 2017
USA Today was seemingly forced to make a clarification after getting relentlessly hammered by commenters.
To clarify, the video shows both the shooter’s modifications, as well as other possible modifications. The shooter did not use a chainsaw bayonet.
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) November 8, 2017
But one of the best responses to the chainsaw attachment fiasco comes from the mouths of babes.
The video comes via Gold Star mom Karen Vaughn, who shared the video of a young boy savaging the USA Today’s “chainsaw attachment” by taking things way, way too far with his toy gun.
— Karen Vaughn (@KarenVaughn_GSM) November 10, 2017
The identities of the mother and the boy have been protected for their privacy, but BizPac Review was given permission to share the video.
First, the boy shows off his cardboard “chainsaw attachment” in case you want to “cut the bushes.”
Then he goes through the “grenade attachment,” which has the merit of being an actual thing. Let’s not forget the essential “dinosaur attachment.”
Of course, what boy’s arsenal would be complete without the essential “french toast attachment”?
The boy throwing the french toast at the camera? Classic.
He even raided his mom’s “cosmetics attachment,” in case you want to “fix your hair.”
Now, these are some “attachments” that America can get behind!
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