Ted Cruz hits Dems with inflation mockery: ‘It’s gotten so bad AOC can’t afford fake handcuffs’

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) made an unsuccessful bid for the presidential nomination in 2016 and may still have his sights on the White House, but, after a rousing speech taking shots at progressives like Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), he may have a fallback career in standup.

Turning Point USA’s eighth annual Student Action Summit kicked off in Tampa, Florida Friday and the list of speakers included many prospective candidates for 2024 with Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) and Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.) among those speaking on just the opening night. Preceded by consummate straight man Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), Cruz turned up the one-liners as he landed hits on the radicals and their agenda that has left Americans struggling with 9.1 percent inflation.

“We’ve got prices skyrocketing. Inflation is out of control. Food is skyrocketing. Electricity is skyrocketing. Healthcare is skyrocketing,” he rattled off in a recap of problems exacerbated by President Joe Biden and his Democratic colleagues.

Sparing the Johnny Carson call and answer, Cruz didn’t wait to hear the audience ask “How bad is it?” as he went right for the punchlines, “It is so bad, ANTIFA can’t afford bricks. It’s gotten so bad, Eric Swalwell can’t afford Chinese dinners,” he added referencing the California representative’s alleged relationship with a Chinese spy.

“It’s gotten so bad AOC can’t afford fake handcuffs,” the Texas lawmaker declared to uproarious laughter as he pantomimed Ocasio-Cortez’s recent “arrest.”

As previously reported, the New York congresswoman had been joined by “Squad” members, Democratic Reps. Ilhan Omar (Minn.), Rashida Tlaib (Mich.), Ayanna Pressley (Mass.), and Cori Bush (Mo.) for a photo-op as part of a pro-abortion protest where they were led away by officers while holding their arms crossed behind their backs to pretend that they had been handcuffed.

However, he didn’t limit himself to only targeting specific politicians as he went after the entire progressive movement.

“For a lot of Americans, prior to Biden being sworn into office, ‘Socialism Sucks’ was just words on a t-shirt. Now,” Cruz went on, ad-libbing off a storm taking place outside the venue, “you can hear the thunder in the sky.”

Cruz recounted how bad the situation had grown in the halls of academia that one college student had explained she was now required to introduce herself in every class with her pronouns. To that, the senator decried the woke perversion of language and institutionalization of ideology with the declaration, “Well, I’m Ted Cruz and my pronoun is ‘kiss my a**.'”

Warning: Language

To really hammer home the uselessness of progressives, the senator made sure to include a riff on another classic joke and asked, “How many radical leftists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”

“Nobody knows,” Cruz answered for the crowd. “That would require work.”


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Kevin Haggerty


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