When you gotta go, you gotta go.
And this is something the people of Kingsland, Arkansas, are learning the hard way after a mural of Johnny Cash adorning the water tower in his hometown received the unwelcome attention of a prankster with excellent aim.
Now the mural has a bullet hole in a, er, “sensitive” area, and the high-pressure leak spewing from the tower makes it look like the “Man in Black” is relieving himself in the most indecent way possible.
“Somebody shot our water tower, shot the silhouette of Johnny Cash in a very sensitive area,” Kingsland Mayor Luke Neal said with a straight face in an interview with Fox 16. “It’s been leaking for the last, almost week.”
Kingsland is a very small town—it has a population of only about 500 people—but it’s very proud of its hometown legend and so decided to honor the “Man in Black” with a silhouette on the town’s water tower. The mural is 6 feet 2 inches tall, which happens to be Cash’s exact height, and the figure is depicted holding a red guitar.
In retrospect, perhaps painting the mural on a water tower wasn’t such a great idea, and was just inviting the kind of mischief that the town is now dealing with. And the costs are beginning to add up as Cash takes a leak all over the town’s budget. Neal says the town is losing upwards of 30,000 gallons of water a day, which is costing the town $200 for each day the leak continues.
“That might seem small in bigger places,” he said, “but for somewhere like here that’s a pretty large number.”
“You kind of run on a tighter budget in small towns like this,” Neal told local news station THV-11, “because it’s really all you’ve got to work with. And things like this can set you back a little bit.”
Still, the mayor couldn’t help but be impressed by the shooter’s aim. “Just the placement of where it was at,” he said, “I mean it was…you could tell someone was trying to be funny.”
He’s not alone in that opinion, and now people are making special trips from neighboring towns just to take in the micturating mural.
“That was a long shot,” one local resident told Fox 16. “I have killed deer—but not that far away!” It’s a sentiment shared by many, and while no one’s pleased with the $5,000 repair bill for draining the tower and fixing the leak, most concede that the prankster was an impressive shot.
Turns out the mischievous marksman was 38-year-old Timothy Sled, who was arrested by local police on Thursday, according to Fox News. As a reward for his prank, Sled will be charged with two felonies, criminal mischief and “impairing the operation of a vital public utility.”
If convicted, Sled could face up to 16 years in the slammer. But with sharpshooting skills like that, the police should give him a job instead.
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