Dave Scott: They only laugh when it hurts!

Op-ed views and opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Joe Biden is the best presidential present America’s comedians have received since Jimmy Carter. Yet their gift remains unused.

Carter (1976-1980) was the former Georgia governor who claimed he was attacked by a giant swimming rabbit; suggested Americans needed “malaise” vaccinations; and watched as America’s gasoline stations ran out of gas, inflation hit 18 percent, and mortgage rates 14 percent.

Democrat Carter was a presidential nightmare, but a comedian’s dream. Stand-up comics and late-night TV shows took full advantage of the garment bag-carrying, cardigan sweater-wearing Georgian with the funny accent and big teeth. Hilarious routines were created around his entire peanut-farming family of certifiable crazies, particularly his beer-swilling brother Billy, who ran a gas station and had a beer named after him.

Carter was a hard act to follow. He was trailed by two Republicans (Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush) who weren’t exactly aisle-rolling funny. Democrats make better fodder for comedians because over the years they have been making a living by making no sense.

Joe Biden, and his politically correct woke crowd have giant comedy bullseyes on their backs, but nobody’s taking aim at these exceptionally yukable targets.

President Biden’s hair sniffing, incoherent slurred and whispered speeches, old-man shuffle, and squinty-eyed confused look are laugh-a-second material. His crackhead crooked China-chum son, Hunter, who knocked up a stripper while married to his deceased brother’s widow, and so much more is just waiting to be yukked up.

In addition, there’s the CIA’s hilarious recruiting video featuring “The Spy Who Blew Her Cover” by admitting she’s an “intersectional” and “cisgender Latina mom”, who suffers from “imposter syndrome.”  There’s enough material there to provoke an audience roaring with laughter to beg: “Stop! You’re killing us”, which might have been the whole idea. Maybe the CIA was road testing a new psychological weapon.

Donald Trump was a different story. He flushed left-wing comedians out causing them to become mentally unhinged, joking about decapitating and assassinating him. Trevor Noah, who hosted “The Daily Show”, said: “On the griddle of the show’s barbeque we cook different foods every day. But the fuel we use to cook that food is Donald Trump.”

Comedians today think funny is only funny when the punch lines involve white, religious, patriotic, and conservative people. Watching the anti-Trump shtick by late night TV performers is like listening to the after-dinner speaker at a Hamas Suicide Bomber Awards Banquet telling jokes about Israel and the Holocaust.

Liberal comics didn’t do themselves any favors during the Trump administration. Kathy Griffin’s Trump decapitation antics cost her professionally and Bill Maher’s “jokes” about incest can’t be printed anywhere. Like comedian Chris Rock said after watching the film The Last Temptation of Christ – “Not many laughs.”

Many comedians are holed up in academia which is the mother lode of silliness. Take University of Colorado professor Jennifer Ho. She wrote: “Anti-Asian racism has the same source as anti-Black racism: white supremacy. So, when a Black person attacks an Asian person, the encounter is fueled perhaps by racism, but very specifically by white supremacy. White supremacy does not require a white person to perpetuate it.” Those college professors are such kidders.

Comics should make folks laugh, not cringe. Pretentious, cruel gasbags like Ms. Griffin,  Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Alec Baldwin, Joy Behar, and Rosie O’Donnell, wouldn’t recognize the milk of human kindness if they drank a cow. Maher may be the exception. He  recently admitted that liberals are “fun suckers.”

Today’s alleged comedians are so unfunny that Americans seeking laughs are even turning to the news channels that cover the far-left’s goofy antics. For two weeks running, according to the recent Nielsen Ratings, more Americans tuned into Greg Gutfeld’s late night show on FOX News than the late-night “comedy” offerings of Jimmy Fallon (NBC) or Jimmy Kimmel (ABC).

In their politically correct woke world comedians tip toe around certain groups including blacks (black comedians get a pass), Asians, Hispanics, illegal aliens, college snowflakes, gays, women (except Melania, Lara and Ivanka Trump who are always fair game), transgendered people, convicted felons, BLM, Antifa, Islamic terrorists, midget gay porn movie performers, and cross-dressing French oboists.

An exception is the group known as conservative white people, particularly southern white folks, mostly men, who earn a living performing skilled, laborious work such as plumbing, carpentry, welding, landscaping, etc. If they happen to be country music fans and are evangelical Christians, it’s fire at will, let ’em have it with both barrels of the lampoon scattergun. Late night TV comedians, who have all the charm of an obscene Mother’s Day card, would be mute without them to ridicule.

Has anyone ever noticed that none of these liberal funny folks dare throw their barbs within close proximity of their targets? They know better than to get within a hundred miles of guys named Snake, Bubba or Weasel when hurling insults in their direction at the county fair. If they did show up you might hear several objects of their jokes say to their buddies as they headed toward the stage: “Hey Eugene Lamar, hold my beer and watch this.”

It’s the same reason you’ll never see any of them perform their left-wing shtick at the Grand Ole Opry, a professional wrestling match, NASCAR, a rodeo, or during the Alabama-Auburn halftime show.

Comedy would be a laughing matter again if comics adopted the philosophy of  Seinfeld’s Julie Louis-Dreyfus, who said: “I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or my writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.”

Dave Scott

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