‘Cocaine and Risky Sex Habits of Quail’: Rand Paul savages wasteful govt spending as only he can

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul took to the floor of the Senate Friday morning to rail against irresponsible government spending, using a series of posters during a 32-minute presentation highlighting waste, fraud, and abuse of taxpayer money.

The Kentucky Republican’s speech was aimed at pushing back against a bipartisan bill, the Endless Frontier Act, which supposedly expands research into science and emerging technologies in order for the United States to stay ahead of a rising China. A fiscal conservative, Paul noted that with more than $28 trillion in debt, Congress and the administration ought to be concerned about curbing excessive spending rather than borrowing more money — from Beijing — in order to fund new legislation.

“I don’t think this bill makes us stronger. In fact, I think the Chinese sit back … and laugh at America thinking we’re going to be stronger by borrowing more money from China,” Paul told the chamber. “So I just don’t think it makes us any stronger at all. I think it makes us weaker. It would be one thing if it weren’t being so horribly wasted.”

At that, Paul launched into his poster board presentation, focusing on several research initiatives he said many taxpayers would be shocked and angry about if they knew they were being funded. Among them, he said, is a $357,000 study involving “Cocaine and Risky Sex Habits of Quail,” as well as $1.6 million to study “Lizards on a Treadmill.”

Another poster showed award-winning singer and actress Dolly Parton to showcase a $250,000 program that sends “kids in Pakistan to Space Camp and Dollywood,” the latter a Tennessee-based amusement park Parton co-owns with Herschend Family Entertainment which is the most popular tourist attraction in the state.

In addition, Paul highlighted a project involving $700,000 taken by National Science Foundation from an autism research grant to find out whether famed astronaut Neil Armstrong used “a” during his famous declaration during his 1969 moon landing, “one giant leap for mankind.” He noted on Twitter that despite the expenditure and study, “we just don’t know.”

He also drew attention to a $450,000 program to create a “climate change game” he said was aimed at scaring school children into believing the phenomenon. “Nearly half a million dollars to create a climate change video game. This game’s intention? To spread alarmism and irrational fear among school children in a fun and interesting way,” he wrote on Twitter as he highlighted the program.

Later Friday morning, Paul returned to the Senate floor, singling out the National Institutes of Health and a $2 million research program “to see if using a hot tub can lower stress.” He also said the government spent “$3 million to study whether or not humans will eat enough ants to keep the globe from warming.”

Paul went on to acknowledge that more Americans would be upset by the frivolous studies “because we never vote for less money. It’s always more.”

“Somebody’s got to point out that the waste and abuse of money goes on,” Paul said.

When Barack Obama was elected president in 2008, the national debt was at $10 trillion. By the time Donald Trump took office in 2016, the debt was $19.6 trillion; when Joe Biden was inaugurated earlier this year the debt was approaching $28 trillion.

“A diverse range of U.S. institutions, such as banks, insurance companies, independent corporations, investment firms and individuals combine to hold the largest share of money owed by the U.S. government, accounting for 40% of the total,” Townhall noted in February. “Foreign entities hold 25.4% of the total debt liabilities issued by the U.S. government. Of the portion of the national debt owed to foreign-based institutions, China (with Hong Kong) holds the greatest share at 4.9% of the U.S. national debt. Japan comes in second with 4.7%, followed by the international banking centers of Belgium, Ireland, and Luxembourg with a combined 3.0%. The United Kingdom holds 1.6%, while Brazil is owed 1.0% of the U.S. national debt. All the remaining nations of the world combine to hold 11.0%.”

As for Paul’s presentation, he was both praised and ridiculed online, with his critics appearing to be angrier with him than the wasteful government spending.

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Warning: Strong language

Jon Dougherty

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