The Onion destroys D.C. over its unreal level of freakout over the FISA memo

America’s favorite satire website just dug into #ReleasetheMemo and the result is epic.

A Thursday article by The Onion satirized opposition to the release of the Nunes memo, with a headline that read “FBI warns Republican memo could undermine faith in massive, unaccountable government secret agencies.”

FBI Director Christopher Wray. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call).

The post lampooned concerns that the memo, which was released by the House Intelligence Committee with President Trump’s approval on Friday, would impugn the FBI.

The Onion jokingly “quoted” FBI Director Christopher Wray as saying:

“Making this memo public will almost certainly impede our ability to conduct clandestine activities operating outside any legal or judicial system on an international scale.”

According to the article, Wray noted “that it was essential that mutual trust exist between the American people and the vast, mysterious cabal given free rein to use any tactics necessary to conduct surveillance on U.S. citizens or subvert religious and political groups.”

(AP Photo/Evan Vucci).

“If we take away the people’s faith in this shadowy monolith exempt from any consequences, all that’s left is an extensive network of rogue, unelected intelligence officers carrying out extrajudicial missions for a variety of subjective, and occasionally personal, reasons,” The Onion quoted Wray as saying.

The article concluded:

“At press time, Wray confirmed the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies were unaware of any wrongdoing for violating constitutional rights.”

The four-page dossier reveals that the FBI knew the Steele dossier was financed by the Democratic National Committee and Clinton campaign, but did not disclose that information to the FISA court when applying for a surveillance warrant to spy on Trump adviser Carter Page.

AP Andrew McCabe
Former Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon).

According to the memo, former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe confirmed that no FISA warrant would have been sought without the dossier.

Justice Department official Bruce Ohr met with Steele beginning in the summer of 2016 and learned that he was desperate to not see Donald Trump elected president. Ohr related Steele’s bias to the FBI.

7 biggest takeaways from the FISA memo that was just released

The memo confirmed that despite knowing of Steele’s bias, the FBI authorized payments to the British spy for work on the dossier.

In addition to FBI Director Wray, Democrats have voiced opposition to the memo’s release. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) called for Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) to be removed as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY). (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite).

Liberal pundits like Anderson Cooper have described the memo as an attempt to discredit the FBI, Department of Justice, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

It says something about the state of the media when The Onion is more truthful than actual news organizations.


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