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‘You can kick their balls, but you can’t touch them’: County official blushes explaining COVID rules

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The absurdity of some of the distance some are taking to enforce social distancing guidelines was seen in Nassau County, where an official declared that while you can kick someone’s balls, you cannot touch them.

Tennis balls, that is.

Nassau County Executive Laura Curran was explaining how social distancing can be practiced while playing tennis, when her own words began to embarrass her.

“Unless they’re from the same household, has to bring their own tennis balls so that you don’t touch other people’s tennis balls, um, with their hands,” she explained at a news conference taking place on at a tennis facility. “You can kick their balls, but you can’t touch them.”

Giggling can be heard off camera.

“I’m going to blush, sorry,” Curran then said.

As she continued, the official struggled to hold back her own laughter.

“To avoid confusion,” she began, before breaking out in laughter. “To avoid confusion between whose balls are whose, you can use a marker, like a sharpie, to mark an x, put someone’s initials on them.”

And there you have, the Nassau County rules governing ball management in a time of crisis.

The levity behind the clip is much needed in these trying times, but it also serves as a reminder of how deeply our daily lives are being controlled by well meaning, albeit heavy-handed local and state authorities deciding what you can and cannot do.

A time when more and more people are protesting and taking a stand in the face of what they see as tyranny. The latest example taking place this week in a New Jersey gym.

With civil liberties disappearing as fast as toilet paper, one social media user pointed out that we are living in some interesting times.

Here’s a sampling of responses to the story from Twitter:

Tom Tillison


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