Critical Face Theory: Stop denying benefits to the facially oppressed

Op-ed views and opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

The poets have told us that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but many studies have proven that attractive people reap far more benefits than average-looking or unattractive individuals.  According to an article in Psych Talk, there are 7 benefits of being attractive:

1) Better school grades

2) Increased income

3) Greater self-esteem

4) More likely to get better job offers

5) More likely to have many suitors

6) Shorter prison sentences

7) Children are biased towards more attractive people

Additionally, attractive people are perceived as healthier, happier and more confident, and this is not limited to the United States, but it is universal in countries all over the world.

According to the Psych Talk article, research has verified each of the benefits listed, which should sound the alarm for social justice warriors, opens up the possibilities of new groups emerging to claim their place on the victim’s list and join the intersectional bandwagon of those claiming to be oppressed.

One study that was done in London surveyed 11,000 people and the findings were that handsome men, on average, are likely to earn 13% more than their average-looking peers.  Another study found that “facial trustworthiness” contributed to lighter sentences for criminal offenses.  While a longitudinal study found that facial attractiveness in high school led to a better quality of life when a person was middle-aged.

Facism (not to be confused with fascism) is a new word to add to the myriad of new WOKE vocabulary (wokabulary) words to denote oppression.  It is the denial of benefits to the facially oppressed, in other words, ugly people.  If a man and woman meet on a blind date and one of them is not attracted to the other and refuses to accept another date due to how the other person looks, that person can be labeled as a facist.

Facism has been around since the beginning of human history.  In ancient Greece a woman’s beauty was judged by the proportions of her face.  In ancient Egypt, Cleopatra was said to be the most beautiful woman in the country and was the queen.  Compare her plight with that of the famous philosopher, Socrates, who had a brilliant mind, but has been described as extremely ugly.  He was brought up on charges of corrupting the minds of Greek youths and was executed, but we know that had he been more attractive, he would most likely have been exonerated or not even charged with crimes.

The Roman poet, Ovid, wrote the first beauty manual.  The classic sculptures and artwork of ancient times through the renaissance showed the most attractive people, and modern fashion photography focuses on those aesthetically pleasing faces to sell magazines and sell products because no one wants to buy clothing worn by someone who looks like Quasimodo.

Each of these examples points to facial discrimination, and the inequities caused by facism.  According to the National Conference for Community and Justice (NCCJ) privilege is defined as “Unearned access to resources (social power) that are only readily available to some people because of their social group membership; an advantage, or immunity granted to or enjoyed by one societal group above and beyond the common advantage of all other groups. Privilege is often invisible to those who have it.”

On its website, it lists the following types of privileges: Christian Privilege, Class Privilege, Straight Privilege, Male Privilege, White Privilege, Adult Privilege and CIS Privilege.  With all of these privileges, it would be hard to find someone who isn’t privileged, however, Facial Privilege needs to be added here as well because, based upon their definition, it isn’t earned, it is an advantage and it does grant people special rights.

8 Ways of Embracing CFT

  1. We must immediately add it to school curriculum and make attractive children apologize for being attractive.
  2. We must provide federal funding (reparations) for those unattractive people to obtain plastic surgery to become more attractive.
  3. We must follow the example set by critical race theory proponent Ibram X. Kendi, who said that “we must fight discrimination with discrimination,” and end systemic facism.
  4. We must force attractive people to date and marry unattractive people to make society more equitable, even if it makes the population aesthetically unpleasing.
  5. We must teach it because CFT is not an aberration, but is woven into the human fabric of all societies.
  6. It is not enough to be anti-facist, one who has benefitted from facial advantages must apologize and do what is necessary to right past wrongs and not only acknowledge privilege, but take an active role in promoting the facially disadvantaged.
  7. If society is to move forward in a progressive manner, it is up to each person to actively fight the urge to bestow unearned privileges on attractive people. People need to go out of their way to befriend, embrace and support unattractive people and follow the mottos: “Repulsiveness is the new beauty,” “Revolt for the revolting,” and finally, “Let’s get snuggly with the ugly.”
  8. Eliminate and prohibit the use of words like ugly, unappealing or repulsive and replace them with gentler, non-judgmental terms that explain the nature of the oppression, such as: aesthetically evolving, appearance challenged, feature deprived and phenotypically subjugated.

The dawn of a new age is upon us.  No longer is history to be taught or learned to help the present generation learn from the mistakes of the past.  The new purpose of history is to create villains and victims, oppressors and the oppressed, and make the descendants of the oppressors be made to feel guilty of the crimes of their ancestors, even if these “crimes” are due to genetics.

Subjectivity and identity politics rule!  Logic, proof and pragmatism are dead, long live the apologists and the only ugliness that should permeate is the ugliness of privilege, which will soon be obliterated and we will engage on one big love fest.


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Michael Matteo


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