Biden White House weirder than Alice’s Wonderland

Op-ed views and opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

A first-time visitor to Joe Biden’s White House could undoubtedly relate to Lewis Carroll’s Alice, who tumbled down a rabbit hole and encountered a variety of thoroughly illogical and very strange beings and situations. 

Instead of a hookah-smoking Caterpillar, the visitor would meet a crack pipe-smoking Hunter Biden. Instead of the Mock Turtle, the visitor would encounter Karine Jean-Pierre, who while wrestling with a curling iron and a briefing book, would attempt to justify the administration’s policies of Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. 

The stranger would eventually be ushered into a whacky and endless tea party hosted by a constantly cackling Kamala Harris spewing a string of incoherent word-jumble riddles. She would be seated next to a conglomeration of crackpot cabinet-level men wearing dresses and using all the wrong pronouns. The party would also include a black female Supreme Court Justice whose only qualifications for her position are her race and sex, yet she can’t define what a woman is. 

A bag of cocaine can be found in the teapot along with arrogant energy czar John Kerry who occasionally pops his head out to demand folks not fly around in private jets or use gas stoves like he does.

Under the table is Chris Wray, head of the world’s largest law enforcement agency, the FBI, who instead of nabbing criminals, White House influence peddlers, and border-crossing terrorists, is busy investigating Catholics, PTA members, and a former US President, while poking around in American citizens’ bank accounts and credit card records. 

This entire place is jampacked with an assembly of unelected, unaccountable weirdos including a Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, who says highways are racist; an unhinged male admiral in a dress; a cross-dressing male cabinet official who has been arrested several times for stealing women’s luggage at airports, and the head of the U.S armed forces whose objective is not to create a strong and ready military but concentrates instead on one that is diverse and environmentally sensitive. Like the Queen of Hearts’ soldiers, his army is merely a harmless deck of cards. And this is just a sampling of this motley crew. 

It’s a movie begging to be made. At 97, Mel Brooks is probably too old to take a crack at it. The Monty Python crew is also aging. However, they prophetically came close 50 years ago in the opening scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

In it King Arthur is skipping – because he doesn’t have a horse – behind an aide-de-camp banging two coconuts together to resemble the sound of hooves, when they encounter a field with filthy toiling peasants, packing mud in piles. 

“OLD WOMAN!” Arthur shouts to one of the bent-over ragged peasants in a grimy robe digging in the mud. 

“MAN!” responds the indignant peasant, to Arthur’s misgendering. 

The male peasant turns out to be a 37-year-old communist named “Dennis”. 

After some hilarious give-and-take between Arthur and Dennis, Arthur explains to the filthy crowd of mud-packing peasants that he is “King of the Britons,” and is on a quest to find the Holy Grail. He then explains Excalibur and the Lady of the Lake episode.

The peasants aren’t impressed. “I didn’t vote for you” a woman shouts. 

A skeptical Dennis isn’t buying it either. “Listen,” he shouts. “Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not for some farcical aquatic ceremony and a tart in a lake.” 

And that with some adaptations is the Biden White House, a very bizarre and strange place populated by an unelected assortment of criminal, aging, dim, deranged, and confused bureaucrats that are running the country. 

It would be billed as a comedy but may generate more fear than laughter.


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Dave Scott


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