Jimmy Failla on toddler breaching White House: ‘The kid just wanted to borrow a diaper’

Comedian and Fox News radio host Jimmy Failla always lightens the load and did not disappoint on “The Ingraham Angle” Monday when he hilariously discussed a wide range of events including a toddler breaching White House grounds, as well as the shrews of “The View” weighing in on the Bud Light fiasco.

(Video Credit: Fox News)

You can tell that Fox News host Laura Ingraham loves having Failla on her show. He had her in stitches from the very start as she introduced the host of “Fox Across America.”

“Jimmy, I’ve missed you!” Ingraham told Failla kicking off the segment. “C’mon. I haven’t seen you forever.”

“I know. I’m gonna try not to get emotional. I even copied your outfit out of solidarity,” he joked.

“Okay, this is really embarrassing. Okay, you look great and now I feel like I look stupid. Alright…” Ingraham began.

“No, you look like a TV star. I look like a shady doctor who does Brazilian butt-lifts out of his house. You look great,” Failla laughed.

After the affectionate greeting, the two got down to the issues of the day.

“There’s a new trend that young people have latched onto and now even South Park has picked up on it,” Ingraham noted.

She then played a clip of South Park where young workers engage in “Bare Minimum Mondays.”

 

“Okay, this is actually real. The Tiktokker who coined the phrase told CNBC after feeling instant panic after waking up, she gave herself permission one Monday last year to do the bare minimum for work and now it’s a weekly thing,” the Fox News host explained, elaborating that the person only works about three hours a day and only does must-do tasks for “Bare Minimum Mondays.”

“Where is this headed, my friend?”

“Well, this is embarrassing. As a former New York City cab driver, I didn’t have this option. I couldn’t tell the pantless time travelers in the back to only beat me up halfway cause I had a stressful Sunday and I woke with a case of the Mondays,” Failla snarked with his best “Office Space” imitation.

“You’ve gotta really think about how weak we’ve become as a society, Laura. Our grandparents stormed the beach and saved Private Ryan. This generation watched Private Ryan and they’re nervous to storm their cubicles the next day. It’s sad,” he noted.

Ingraham went on to point out that she keeps hearing no one wants to work.

“Jimmy, how much time do you think the Chinese are spending worrying about their work-life balance?” she asked Failla.

“Stop it. They’re not even worried about it for children, let alone adults. Are you kidding me?” he responded.

Then the conversation turned to borders, at least when it comes to a toddler getting in through the White House grounds fence.

“It turns out that by the way, anybody can cross borders in the Biden administration, Jimmy, because earlier today, a toddler somehow crawled through the $64 million upgraded White House fence and onto the White House lawn. So, Jimmy, my question to you… was this just a scheduled playdate with Joe?” Ingraham asked tongue-in-cheek.

(Video Credit: CBS Mornings)

“Well, no… it was unscheduled. The kid just wanted to borrow a diaper. Hey, good night everybody! But the joke’s on that parent because after making it into the White House, they made the kid watch a drag show and now his whole youth has been corrupted. We’ve gotta play better defense with the fence,” Failla kidded.

And then it was on to Bud Light and the company’s ill-conceived marketing campaign with transgender Dylan Mulvaney which the ladies of “The View” just had to comment on.

“Bud Light is still taking hits. Now, this week they put out a pro-America ad after they divided America of course. The gals at ‘The View’ are now weighing in,” Ingraham noted before playing a clip of the leftist gossip-fest.

“Listen, Laura… no one at Bud Light is worried about ‘The View’ throwing their weight around because anyone watching ‘The View’ every day has moved on to much stronger stuff than alcohol. Okay? If you’re watching ‘The View,’ alcohol is like three seasons ago. It’s not gonna getcha home anymore,” the comic snarked.

“Whoopi should shut up and it has nothing to do with transphobia. Trans people can go be trans. The whole point of beer is to escape identity politics and they literally plastered it on the side of the can. And I don’t wanna hear about inclusion because there’s nothing more inclusive than beer. Eighty percent of this population wouldn’t be born if two people didn’t have beer beforehand,” Failla asserted.

(Video Credit: Fox News)

Ingraham then tore into the transgender face of Bud Light.

“Unless Dylan Mulvaney develops a true beer gut, I think this conversation just has to end,” she remarked.

Then it was on to “digital hoarding” as the final topic in the segment.

“Finally, we’ve all heard of hoarding, but now there’s something called ‘digital hoarding,’ Jimmy. It’s when you can’t part with the digital material that you get. Like you never delete your emails or you save every photo you’ve ever taken. One doctor whose been studying this said it is an actual disorder when someone suffers from the symptoms of this digital hoarding. There’s a strong likelihood that he or she would experience adverse mental or psychological conditions. Jimmy, are you a digital hoarder?” she asked Failla.

“I am not, but let’s be clear. It’s not just Gen Z. Look at the stuff Hunter Biden kept on his laptop. Are you kidding me? It’s supposed to be the poster child for the rest of us. Delete everything. It’s not your friend. But especially if you’re nude in a hot tub smoking crack half the day. Defense wins championships, Laura,” Failla concluded.

At the end of the segment, Ingraham plugged Failla’s upcoming Pennsylvania show on May 6 at the Santander Performing Arts Center in Reading at 8 pm. It should be hilarious.

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