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Today’s contestants in the “Celebrity Dunk Tank” are anti-Trump actress Chelsea Handler, anti-Trump comedian Kathy Griffin and anti-Trump “journalist” Jim Acosta.
All three are guilty of tweeting vapid nonsense and then being blasted into oblivion by a public that has very little tolerance for dumb. But who’s the worst?
First Contestant: Chelsea Handler
First up is Handler, who responded to the start of former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin’s trial by suggesting that trials are a waste of time and that those whom she deems guilty should automatically be convicted and punished.
“So pathetic that there is a trial to prove that Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd when there is video of him doing so,” she tweeted Tuesday.
Amazingly, the tweet boasted over 38,000 likes. The fact that so many Americans apparently agree with her seems like one of hell an indictment of the country’s failing education system. Nevertheless, the tweets and comments, most of them sarcastic, were scathing.
So pathetic that there is a trial to prove that Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd when there is video of him doing so.
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) March 30, 2021
If there was any question which side of the political spectrum is most authoritarian… https://t.co/lzX4V0fOkg
— Ryan Petty (@rpetty) March 31, 2021
Those damn trials, right Chels? Why can’t we just skip them and go right to the executions? https://t.co/tjevM7ISKt
— Gerry Callahan (@GerryCallahan) March 30, 2021
This is too stupid……Even for you. https://t.co/TVhIpUQfyp
— Andrew Wilkow (@WilkowMajority) March 30, 2021
umm when did it become woke to oppose basic due process in criminal procedure https://t.co/CqCWtSnoNT
— Brad Polumbo 🇺🇸⚽️ 🏳️🌈 (@brad_polumbo) March 30, 2021
maybe we should skip the trial process altogether. just get a group of friends together with, i don’t know, some rope?
— tsar becket adams (@BecketAdams) March 30, 2021
I am afraid she actually means this. https://t.co/dYXHSxizDK
— Brit Hume (@brithume) March 30, 2021
Yet she chose to double down.
Perhaps we skip trials when there is audio and video footage of the murder. https://t.co/MpqAz70OXx
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) March 30, 2021
Second Contestant: Kathy Griffin
Next up is Griffin, who’s raging mad that the former Covington Catholic High School students whom she smeared years ago are trying to empty out her wallet.
“The 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati ruled on Tuesday that Covington Catholic students cannot bring harassment claims against nationally renowned comedian Kathy Griffin,” The Cincinnati Enquirer reported last week.
“Judges upheld a decision by the U.S. Eastern District of Kentucky to dismiss the claims brought against Griffin and Sujana Chandrasekhar, a New Jersey-based doctor who was also named in the students’ complaints over statements made on social media, according to court documents.”
In response, the kids filed an appeal, and that enraged Griffin.
Look what she tweeted below:
So the darlings from Covington Catholic HS (remember the MAGA hat kid?) are appealing the Kentucky state court’s dismissal of their case against me for tweets I sent out during the incident on the national mall. They want $$$ and to set a precedent.
I will not back down. Ever. pic.twitter.com/KXJjtqqI11
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) March 26, 2021
“I will not back down. Ever,” she claimed in her tweet.
That wasn’t her attitude when then-President Donald Trump “broke her” in 2017.
The responses this time were just as scathing:
You won’t back down from using the internet to smear innocent kids with libelous claims? What a hero. https://t.co/G1f5BXLkef
— Eddie Zipperer (@EddieZipperer) March 30, 2021
Imagine being proud of abusively bullying a child. https://t.co/QJdY0u03e2
— tedfrank 💉 (@tedfrank) March 27, 2021
I hope they absolutely clean you out, it would be the perfect ending to this whole matter.
— Rocky Marshall (@marshall_rocky) March 28, 2021
I hope they clean you out OR that you go broke “never backing down”. You’re a bully to children and it makes me sick.
— Basket of Neanderthals (@mickeypendersc1) March 27, 2021
Third Contestant: Jim Acosta
And then there’s Acosta, the attention-seeking CNN “journalist” who’s been accused of being an egotistical, narcissistic wannabe celebrity.
Apparently, he was hellbent on proving the stereotypes about him true, because on Monday he tweeted a photo of himself receiving the coronavirus vaccine while wearing a t-shirt containing a quote from … wait for it … himself.
“In 2020, I covered the impeachment trial & a caucus night (that lasted a week) & the primaries & the covid pandemic & the economic crash & the racial justice protests & Lafayette Square & so many rallies & the death of RBG & the president’s 1AM coronavirus diagnosis & a Supreme Court confirmation & an election night (that lasted a week) & things by tweet & the recounts & the presidential transition & I have a commemorative shirt to prove it,” the quote read.
Just the shot in the arm I needed. The latest studies show the Covid-19 vaccines are highly effective. Please do your part to end this pandemic. Get your shot! pic.twitter.com/QUYCt3sZ74
— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) March 30, 2021
The narcissism was simply too much for many Americans.
You know you’re a narcissist when… pic.twitter.com/c5GRxPaDdT
— Beth Baumann (@eb454) March 30, 2021
This is the most Jim Acosta thing Jim Acosta has ever done, even more Jim Acosta than Jim Acosta making his Twitter header a picture of Jim Acosta pointing at Jim Acosta’s Twitter avatar of Jim Acosta https://t.co/9VvwdD7aIV
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) March 30, 2021
— 🇺🇸 Scott Sands 🇺🇸 (@scottsands) March 30, 2021
If you zoom in closely, it says: “I tried super hard to journalism but all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.”
— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) March 30, 2021
Your shirt would’ve been just as effective if it simply said “please notice me.”
— RAM (Richard Armande Mills) (@RAMRANTS) March 31, 2021
Remember, nobody loves Jim Acosta like Jim Acosta loves Jim Acosta.
And The Winner Is …
Without further ado, the winner of today’s “Celebrity Dunk Tank” is …
It’s one thing to be a narcissist. It’s another to be mean to children. But arguing that trials should be skipped and due process ignored … that’s something else.
Congratulations, Ms. Handler.
Disclaimer: If you’d like to appeal this ruling, we’re sorry to inform you that around here we enjoy holding people to the same standards they expect of others, and so you shall be granted no due process, *cough*.
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