On Friday, Fox News host Tucker Carlson compared President Biden to Russia’s now-deceased General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev and posited that if we behave ourselves, we could possibly get socially-distanced hot dogs on July 4th. Maybe.
Carlson kicked off a segment on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” explaining why he is still covering Biden’s speech on the first anniversary of the COVID shutdown: “There are a lot of stories we could have opened with…but in the end, we couldn’t get our minds off of Joe Biden’s COVID speech. Did you see that last night? The one where he seemed so sad about the lockdowns that have crushed businesses, kept kids out of school – ‘an entire generation,’ he said – and driven so many to suicide.”
“Yet never once mentioned or even hinted that he and his party are the very forces behind those lockdowns. ‘I’m really sorry about your black eye,’ he says, as he punches you in the face. It was bizarre. The whole speech was like that. It had a hallucinogenic quality like it wasn’t quite real,” the Fox News host noted.
“But then, Joe Biden himself isn’t quite real. Maybe that’s the reason he talks that way. Biden has been living in utter seclusion for more than a year. He hasn’t spoken to anyone but his own lackeys. He hasn’t driven a car or sat on the grass and looked up at the sky or been anywhere or done anything except in the most controlled possible environment. What an incredibly weird life that is,” Carlson opined.
(Video Credit: Fox News)
Carlson went on to highlight how Biden is trying to keep America terrified of the coronavirus and how the president is essentially cut off and sequestered from reality. He referenced former New York Times reporter Alex Berenson who described Biden’s speech as “late Soviet.” Carlson thought that was apropos.
The conservative pundit went on to say that Leonid Brezhnev was Russia’s version of Joe Biden. Both were failing in their later years and basically became figureheads. Both men had to be guided and told what to do. The only difference, according to Carlson, was that Brezhnev was five years younger than Biden. He claimed that the Soviet leader had “his own Susan Rice and Barack Obama” who pulled his strings and made the real decisions.
Then Carlson covered the fawning by the media over Biden’s speech.
“How refreshing, how human, how compassionate, how American,” Don Lemon gushed after taking a deep breath.
Chris Cuomo voiced his adoration, “Biden tried to lift our spirits with a medicinal message about trying to recover our sense of collective cause … Certainly, it was healing.”
Van Jones loves word games: “He didn’t say ‘You need me.’ He said ‘I need you, I need you.’ I mean, my God! Isn’t that it?!”
“What the president is saying is help is on the way … We’re all in this together. I need your help,” Lemon preached to the liberal masses. “We’re all Americans. Woo!! Hallelujah!”
Carlson could not quite believe his ears: “What are these people talking about? What what is about Joe Biden’s shaky monotone last night inspired them, exactly? Most people found it depressing. Maybe we’re being too literal here. It probably doesn’t matter what Joe Biden actually said. He could have called for the bombing of Toronto, and CNN’s panel of trained seals would still enthusiastically applaud it. It’s their job to enthusiastically applaud what Joe Biden says.”
Then he clarified what all of us should be doing while mercilessly mocking Biden’s words: “Our job is to try and figure out what Biden’s speech meant for the country. So let’s look at it for a minute.”
“The lockdowns have been tough, Biden conceded at the outset. God knows how we got them. But we did. Those restrictions will be lifted as soon as we can lift them, and we will return to some version of the country we now only dimly remember. We’d really love to do that.
“But in order to go forward, and take the boot off your neck, we’re going to need every American to listen very carefully and obey our orders. Do what we tell you to do. That won’t be easy, but if you do it, there is a payoff for good behavior,” Carlson continued summarizing Biden’s remarks. “If you’re obedient, there is a chance — not a guarantee of course, but a distinct possibility, God willing — that you may be able to see some of the people you love around July 4. That could actually happen, ladies and gentlemen.”
Carlson continued ridiculing the absurdity of Biden’s veiled threats: “Did you hear that America? There is a ‘good chance’ — again, not a sure thing, but what is a sure thing these days? — but a “good chance” that you might be allowed to have a modest cookout four months from now.”
“With luck, this could be your reward after a year and a half of lockdowns: A Fourth of July cookout, in your very own backyard, assuming you have one!” Carlson quipped.
“What other wonders does President Biden have in store for us?” he sarcastically wondered before he answered his own question.
“Well, you’re going to have to get vaccinated to find out. Sorry. That’s the other requirement. Should have mentioned it. Everybody needs the shot, period. That’s what Biden said, and that’s a lot of shots,” he added, noting how Biden is “building a vaccination corps, that will include active-duty members of the military. An army of vaccinations.”
“Thousands of vaccinators to vaccinate everyone. That sounds amazing. But it does raise at least one vexing question: what if you don’t want to get vaccinated? Not everyone does. Some people have religious objections. Others have concerns about this specific medicine. Others simply don’t want it. Do you need a reason to turn down the vaccine? What happens if you do turn it down?” Carlson asked. “Joe Biden didn’t specify, but it’s pretty hard to believe he would support any kind of vaccine coercion. As he’s said so often over so many years, if it’s your body, it’s your choice.”
“Quite frankly, you’ve got the absolute right to make your own personal decisions about your own personal health care. Period. That’s in the Constitution. Joe Biden would never violate that right. He’s been defending that right since before you were born. It’s your body, it’s your choice. Of course, as with everything , there are caveats. If you don’t take the shot that Joe Biden wants you to take — if you persist in making your own personal decisions about your own personal healthcare — then Joe Biden is gonna have to shut the country down again. No socially distanced barbecues for you, buddy. You’ll have to eat your hot dogs alone, inside,” Carlson mockingly warned.
“To which CNN might say, ‘Hallelujah!’ But we’re not CNN,” he concluded. “Instead, we’re left wondering: Could there be any civil liberties implications to any of this?”
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