‘Where’s the short, fat guy?’: Sen. Cruz tweets out hilarious list of rejected impeachment questions

Senator Ted Cruz of Texas tweeted out a hysterical thread that revealed a number of actual questions that were submitted to be asked at former President Trump’s impeachment trial. They were, of course, rejected by the Democrats.

On Saturday, Trump’s impeachment trial was thrown into chaos when it looked like witnesses would indeed be called to testify from both sides of the political aisle, extending the trial by weeks. The Senate originally voted 55-45 to allow witnesses to testify. The leaders managed to come to an agreement that there will be no witnesses but they will receive testimony from GOP Rep. Jaime Herrera Beutler concerning a phone call between Trump and Rep. Kevin McCarthy. It’s allegedly hearsay evidence.

In the meantime, Cruz started a Twitter thread that had entertainment value.

He first noted: “Thread: Chaos at the impeachment trial. Dems had agreed to know witnesses, then House Managers changed their mind this morning. Schumer blindsided. Pandemonium. They’re negotiating now to figure out next steps.”




Then Cruz proposed: “2/x While we’re waiting to figure out what’s next, I thought I’d share some of the Qs in the pile that DIDN’T make the cut to be asked yesterday. (These are all real, from various senators, who will remain anonymous.)”


Here is the list of tweeted questions in order:

Question 1: “Where’s the short, fat guy?”

Question 2: “Can we build the Keystone Pipeline if we add Hunter Biden to the board?”

Question 3: “To Manager Swalwell: Tell us about Fang Fang.”

Question 4: “(generic) Have any of the House Managers had sexual relations with a Chinese communist spy? Please explain.”

Question 5: “If we put him in a burlap sack & throw him in the river, and he does not float, must we convict?”

It is no wonder that presiding judge Sen. Pat Leahy decided these questions were inappropriate. They are far too revealing.

(Video Credit: The Independent)

The hilarious thread went viral on Twitter. Both sides jumped in… some thought it was laugh-out-loud funny and others chastised Cruz for the thread questioning everything from his law degree, to his constitutional creds, to his mental stability.

Joe loved it: “OK, this shouldn’t be an anonymous question, I want to vote for them. Hopefully it was one of the Texas Senators that asked it.” He continued: “That would be a pretty cheap solution. $500k/month to Hunter, $100k/month to “the big guy”. Build the pipeline. Maybe take the money from pipefitters union dues.”

Marta Lisle simply stated: “This Cruz thread is hysterical.”

Cruz weighed in when it looked like witnesses would be called for the trial. He said Saturday in an interview that Republicans should consider calling Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as a witness. But he said it was very unlikely that would happen.

“Nancy Pelosi is clearly a relevant witness to this matter. Speaker Pelosi can testify as to when she knew about the threats on the Capitol and what she knew specifically,” Cruz stated.

“And in particular, she can testify that we heard already that the House Sargent at Arms turned down National Guard protection for the Capitol on January 6, because of ‘the optics.’ And I think Speaker Pelosi can testify as to whether she made a decision based on optics, based on politics,” Cruz said.

Unfortunately, Cruz’s list of questions will never be answered and Pelosi will never testify. But at least someone is positing questions that should be asked even if it is in jest.


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