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In North Carolina, love and hate go together like handcuffs and police officers.
Over in Nash County, the local sheriff’s office has put together a “Valentine’s Day Weekend Special” promo offering to arrest people’s ex-bfs and ex-gfs.
The Nash County Sheriff’s Office announced the promo on Facebook this Thursday.
“Did you know? The Nash County Sheriff’s Office is now offering a Valentine’s Day Weekend Special! Do you have an ex-Valentine and know they have outstanding warrants? Give us a call … with their location and we’ll take care of the rest,” the announcement reads.
“This Valentine’s Day Weekend Special starts off with a set of limited-edition platinum bracelets, free transportation with a chauffeur, a one-night minimum stay in our luxurious ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ accommodations, and this special is capped off with a special Valentine’s dinner.”
That sounds lovely.
“We know this special is so incredible that you may be tempted to provide additional referrals. We don’t blame you, this special is too sweet to pass up. Operators are standing by!” the announcement concludes.
Did you know?
The Nash County Sheriff’s Office is now offering a Valentine’s Day Weekend Special!
Do you have an…
Sadly, the offer only applies if the ex-beau has a warrant out for their arrest. Damn! Otherwise, the department would have no doubt been in store for an extremely business weekend, because unrelenting hatred for one’s ex is pretty darn commonplace.
*raises guilty hand*
In addition, the anger tends to bubble up around Valentine’s Day.
“It is common for some people to miss an ex on Valentine’s Day, particularly when the end of the relationship was not their decision,” Dr. Julie Gurner, a clinical psychologist, told Bustle magazine last year.
“It can be painful, and you might be tempted to look them up on social media, reach out, and wonder if there’s anything you can do to remedy the situation,” the outlet reported.
“The sense of loneliness can be strong, but doesn’t mean you need to make any rash decisions. There are plenty of ways to manage tough emotions and get through Valentine’s Day without feeling too bad, and that includes using this time to take good care of yourself and reach out to others for support,” it continued.
And in case your ex is a criminal, you could always consider turning them in to your local police department. 👍
“Spending time with others who are fun and supportive can recenter your mindset to the positive, and even keep you from making poor decisions in your vulnerability, like reaching out to an ex that wasn’t good for you,” Gurner added in her statement to Bustle.
Amazingly, the Nash County Sheriff’s Office isn’t alone in trying to ameliorate people’s Valentine’s Day break-up pain. The Middletown Divison of Police in Ohio is also trying to do the same.
How would you like the ultimate Valentine’s Day getaway!
The MPD Bed and Breakfast is all you need for your special…
“How would you like the ultimate Valentine’s Day getaway! The MPD Bed and Breakfast is all you need for your special valentine. The MPD B&B offers non-smoking rooms and provides free transportation to this dream destination,” the department’s own promo reads.
“During your stay here you’ll receive three meals daily and free laundry service! To keep you and your valentine safe we also provide 24-hour security and video surveillance. Oh and don’t even think about going to Jared because we have all your jewelry needs right here with this very special his and hers bracelet set! So don’t delay and get booked today!”
Now remember, while turning in a wanted ex might sound vindictive, it’s really not. Or at least not in comparison to, say, attacking your ex with a machete. 😲
And yes, that really happened.
“Bailey Alexander White, 25, was taken into custody by the U.S. Marshals in Dunn, N.C. Tuesday morning and brought back to Wilmington where he’s facing charges of attempted first-degree murder and first-degree burglary,” North Carolina station WECT reported on Feb. 1st.
“According to the Wilmington Police Department, officers were dispatched to the 2200 block of Wrightsville Avenue around 1:30 a.m. Monday after receiving a report of a breaking and entering in progress. When officers arrived, they found a 28-year-old woman suffering from life-threatening wounds. She told police that her ex-boyfriend, White, attacked her.”
Yeah, please don’t do that!
FYI, the victim survived.
And also, please don’t call the cops on your ex unless there’s a warrant out for them. Because otherwise, you might wind up in jail like Ann Marie Weatherspoon, a Massachusetts woman who in 2016 called 9-1-1 on her ex-boyfriend nine times for revenge.
“She is now facing 35 charges for the alleged calls. They include nine counts of making false calls to the 911 system, seven counts of falsely incriminating another, nine counts of making false reports to police, nine counts of harassment and one count of stalking,” NJ.com reported at the time.
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