Opinion

Voting for Joe Biden is like believing in the tooth fairy

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Op-ed views and opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Children have a wonderful facility for believing in fictions like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.

There is something very comforting about allowing yourself to believe that when you experience trauma, a magical entity will come into your life and provide a cosmic level of relief. As adults, although we know full well that such notions are fictitious, we often miss the simplicity and security of our childhood fantasies. Voting for Joe Biden is a way of regressing back to that sublime state.

One of my heroes is mythology expert Joseph Campbell. I just watched a video where Campbell defines becoming an adult as “breaking past the image as fact and understanding the image as metaphor.” He is talking about the tooth fairy. As children, we thought of the tooth fairy as a fact, a living essence. Losing a tooth can be a traumatic event. Belief in the tooth fairy can make it better. I remember my grandfather telling me that he had encountered Santa Claus in our kitchen the night before. Santa was cold so my grandfather made him a cup of coffee. I accepted it as fact, and even took pride in my grandfather’s ability to interact with Santa. It was a heartwarming experience in my childhood that I wish I could recreate. How can I do that, if as an adult I know that Santa is only a metaphor for the winter solstice? Good news—thanks to Uncle Joe Biden, I can.

Compared to losing a tooth, the contemporary political scene is enough to drive a sober person to drink. We entertain a galaxy of fears—higher taxes and economic downturn could mean the destruction of our living standard, Islamic terrorists will blow us up, the Antifa mob will attack us in the street, abortion will or will not be legal, China will attack us with nuclear weapons, and on and on. Everyone I know has anxiety about the upcoming election. How should you handle that anxiety? One answer is to vote for Uncle Joe.

Joe Biden can best be described as avuncular. Merriam-Webster defines avuncular as “suggestive of an uncle especially in kindliness or geniality.” Joe is the kind of guy you would love to have as a guest for Thanksgiving. He reminds you of a favorite relative who may have passed away. Wouldn’t it be nice to have your beloved uncle in the White House? To that extent, Biden is the political equivalent of the tooth fairy. He is the image as fact—Joe Biden IS your uncle. But what about the reality?

The reality is that Biden appears to be senile or otherwise cognitively impaired. Biden’s platform is left-wing to a frightening degree, including his endorsement of socialism—a political system that has always resulted in economic devastation and massive human casualties. He refuses to tell you what his major policies will be, demanding that you wait until after the election to find out where he stands on packing the court, raising taxes, and other important issues.

And to round it all out, we have a ton of proof that good old Uncle Joe is totally corrupt. Given those considerations, what thinking adult would vote for such a man?

That’s true, you say, but you don’t want to vote for Donald Trump. Heaven forbid! You hate him. You can’t stand the man’s personality quirks. His incessant tweets make you angry. The media are telling you that he is a racist and a womanizer. He has a terrible haircut. Even though you know that Biden is corrupt to the core, you’d rather have this senile, corrupt guy than Trump. Yet you have to admit that Trump has done a great job in his first four years. He kept all his campaign promises, brought the economy back from the dead, and lowered your taxes. How can you make a decision when the facts don’t support your emotions?

The answer is simple. Revert back to a childhood state and vote for the tooth fairy.

Joe Biden is the tooth fairy. Simply pretend that if you vote for him, the results will match your fantasies. Make your voting decision based on an emotional reaction to the facts instead of voting on the facts themselves. Rely upon the avuncular image of Biden as FACT, even though your intellect tells you that the facts don’t support your emotional preference. It doesn’t matter. The election of Biden will make you feel just like you did at Christmas when Santa Claus left a treasure trove of presents under the tree. On November 3rd, you will go to sleep with a smile on your face. Never mind that you’ll wake up with a monstrous hangover. Never mind that the country will go down the tubes. Never mind that voting for Biden is pure idiocy.

Why behave like an adult when it can only cause more anxiety? Deep down, you resent having to replace the fantasies of your childhood with a truckload of worries. This is a perfect time to dump those worries. The tooth fairy is there for the taking. Don’t miss this chance to re-enact your idyllic infancy. Vote Biden for president and worry about the consequences later.

Ed Brodow

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