Anderson Cooper channeled his inner drama queen Monday night, rolling out a very limited range of stiff facial contortions as if auditioning for an eighth-grade bit part in a teeny bopper B-movie. At least it seemed that way as he warmed up with a tired Trump critique during his “Ridiculist” segment on CNN, then segued into poking mean fun at Fox News and Jeanine Pirro in particular.

To be fair, Cooper’s “feel-me, squinty cringe” is not too bad. You can judge for yourself in the video below …

Cooper was inspired by President Trump’s criticism of Fox News in a Sunday afternoon tweet …

….who got them there. Chris Wallace said, “I actually think, whether you like his opinions or not, that Mayor Pete has a lot of substance…fascinating biography.” Gee, he never speaks well of me – I like Mike Wallace better…and Alfred E. Newman will never be President!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 19, 2019

The CNN Ridiculist bared his teeth and his shallow thespian soul as he excitedly read through the teleprompter script writ large enough that he could remove his spectacles for the bit.

“Tonight the world’s biggest most elegant cable news fan has his gotten his foxy-loxy tail in a twist,” said Cooper. “That’s right … President Trump, a man that thinks journalism is an hour-long phone call where Sean Hannity spoon feeds him topics like pre-chewed cream of wheat, is on a tirade against his most favorite network. Their offense, Fox’s actual news division — and not their morning zoo crew or prime-time propaganda pack — invited a Democrat to appear on their air.”

Bringing forth the teen character from deep within, Cooper read Trump’s tweet, then said …

“Does that sound like a jealous 15-year-old boy to you Snapchatting his bestie late at night?” Cooper followed.

“Oh the betrayal when the network you love and rely on for advice and support suddenly gives a platform to someone else and they give him a standing ovation,” Cooper continued, very likely suppressing the urge to stand up and walk about the stage for dramatic effect.

He read more of Trump’s “mean boy” tweet, saying that he imagined Trump giggled after he sent out the tweet.

Cooper took some snarky swings at the President’s use of Alfred E. Neumann as a dated comparison for Pete Buttigieg, suggesting that references to older icons are pointless in an America where today is all that matters.

At the end of the audition, Cooper summoned up his impression of Fox News’ Pirro, who he called “the President’s Islamophobe-in-arms.” He played a clip of Pirro’s most recent open while lamely mimicking her facial expressions on a split screen.

“Wow, who wrote that?” he yakked afterward. “…biting!”

There were mixed reviews for Cooper’s performance overall, but sadly, the sample size of viewers was lacking so no clear judgment can be made as to Cooper’s acting potential can be made at this time.

And only 356 people saw it.

— R.J. Kendall ? (@RJ_Kendall) May 21, 2019

It was a great bit but unfortunately more people watched reruns of Cake Boss on the food network

— Man with Ears (@RileyhBFG) May 21, 2019

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Victor Rantala

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Victor Rantala is an Army vet who lives in Minnesota, he is a former intelligence analyst and business owner, and is an NRA Life member who is officially retired but has yet to slow his roll.

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