Near-legendary comedian and generally beloved Fox News host Greg Gutfeld began Saturday’s edition of FNC’s “The Greg Gutfeld Show” by excoriating 2020 presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders for arguing that incarcerated inmates should be allowed to vote.
“It’s official — Bernie Sanders is working for the Republican Party,” he said, before playing a clip of the Vermont senator telling an audience at a CNN-hosted town hall that even “terrible people” like the Boston Marathon bomber should possess the right to vote.
“But Bernie, that makes no sense,” Gutfeld continued. “You think a guy in jail for murder can’t have his rights taken away? What is it about being in jail that you’re missing? He is in jail. He can’t go outside. The toilet have no seats. Seems like not voting is the least of his concerns.”
“But hey, I guess Bernie wants the guy on Death Row to vote. It makes sense. He could pull one lever before we pull the other. It’s almost tailor-made for an RNC ad.”
The latter statement wasn’t even a joke.
After Sanders made his remarks at the town hall event last Monday, the Republican National Committee released a brutal ad slamming him and other Democrats for wanting to let terrorists vote. Gutfeld played the whole ad and then said, “Paid for by Bernie Sanders.” Now THAT was funny.
“What a great issue to champion — making sure the Boston bomber can vote. I guess chucking orphans down a well didn’t score as high in focus groups. Are we sure Bernie isn’t colluding with Trump? Or maybe thanks to the activist media, Sanders thinks America is just as nuts as him?” he added.
“No, we are not. Hell, even Cher is against this. … It’s true, though. Cher tweeted that even this idea by Bernie is too crazy for her. And she dated Gene Simmons! And Michael Bolton!”
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) April 24, 2019
The FNC host continued by playing a stunning clip of Sanders telling audience goers at a rally last Wednesday in Houston that he supports allowing inmates to vote because “the right to vote is essential … and that is a right we must protect, because we know the history of this country. We know that women didn’t have the right to vote. We know that African Americans didn’t have the right to vote.”
“So criminals are like women and blacks?” Gutfeld said to raucous applause and laughter from his audience. “I’d say he’s digging his own grave, but he’s working on the whole cemetery.”
Granted, he’s not the only one.
“The [entire] party is on a leftward downward spiral,” Gutfeld said, before playing a skit in which mock Democrat presidential candidates tried to out-“dig” one another.
Mock candidate one: “College is very important and should be free.”
Mock candidate two: “College shouldn’t just be free. It should be mandatory. Don’t go to college, then you go to prison.”
Mock candidate three: “When in prison, you can still vote.”
Mock candidate four: “Only if you’re a murderer or a terrorist.”
You get the picture.
Watch the second part of Gutfeld’s monologue below:
He spent the rest of his monologue taking shots at former Vice President Joe Biden, who announced his candidacy for office last week, and MSNBC conspiracy theorist Rachel Maddow.
The shot at Maddow actually occurred slightly before the monologue began. Gutfeld started the show by playing a clip of her pontificating over the 1993 hit song “Whoomp! (There It Is).”
“The correct title of the song in case you need to look it up is ‘Whoomp, there it is,'” she’d said last Tuesday. “The first word is whoomp, W-H-O-O-M-P, whoomp. Did you definitely know it was whoomp? Maybe the title was ‘whoop’ or maybe ‘oops.’ Oops, there it is? Poop, there it is? … that is about to be the theme song for the Trump White House for their response to the Mueller report.”
In response to this inane rambling, Gutfeld said Saturday, “Whoops, there goes MSNBC!”
Regarding Biden, the FNC host slammed him for attacking President Donald Trump.
“So Joe says Trump is worse than war, terror, disease and cream of asparagus soup combined? Somehow I don’t believe that he believes that. I’m not even sure what he believes. Isn’t that weird? This guy has been around forever and has no defining political achievements. He’s like that TV character in a show that’s always there, but you don’t know why. …”
“Biden’s been around awhile. He’s like your appendix. It’s there all the time, but you don’t know about it until it bursts. And what is his message? Hey guys, I’m still here!”
“And it can’t be good if Michael Avenatti bends over backwards to endorse you, but Barack Obama doesn’t. A popular two-term president says no, but the sleaziest grifter ever says yes. That’s like the head cheerleader turning you down for the prom, but the 400-pound janitor with the spider web tattoo on his face says, ‘Sure, why not!’ So the next question should be, who should Joe’s VP be?”
To hear Gutfeld’s answer, play the video below:
“Joe is old and kind of slow and not that bright, so to balance his ticket he needs someone who is conscious,” Gutfeld said in concluding his monologue. “So Joe wants America to return to the good ol’ days of BT — before Trump. But were they that good, if they gave us such a change agent like Trump? Compare today’s economy, the foreign policy and jobs to back then. If you want to go back in time, Joe, I’m afraid you’re going to be going alone.”
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