Helluva party! What happens when a woman drinking wine from a Pringles can goes on 3-hr joyride in Walmart cart

(Wikimedia public domain)

Of the many reasons that President Donald Trump has maintained a lifetime of abstinence from alcohol, one very likely reason is the ways in which over-consumption of alcohol makes people act.

Suffice it to say, you’re not apt to ever see a sober woman joyriding around on an electric grocery cart in the middle of a Walmart parking lot. It’s just not going to happen. A drunk woman riding around on a cart, on the other hand …. well, that’s a different story.

Case in point: Around 9:00 am early last Friday morning, police officers in Wichita Falls received a call from a local Walmart about a woman reportedly chugging alcohol from a Pringles can as she literally joyrided around the store’s parking lot in an actual electric grocery cart.

But it gets even better.

According to Wichita Falls Police Department spokesperson Ofc. Jeff Hughes, the unnamed woman had been joyriding all across the Walmart’s parking lot for nearly three hours.

Talk about one helluva party!

Hughes told the Times Record News that when officers arrived at the Walmart, they found the woman at a nearby restaurant, though surprisingly, they didn’t arrest her.

Instead the authorities told her that she was permanently banned from the Walmart nearby. Considering that the multinational retail corporation offers some of the best grocery prices in the country, that’s not such great news for her. It’s unclear how she reacted to it.

What’s clear is alcohol is a helluva inebriant — one known to spur people into doing some of the dumbest things (and oftentimes with grocery carts, for some inexplicable reason), including but not limited to:

Using a lawn mower to ride off with ten shopping carts loaded with booze:

*facepalm*

Using a shopping cart to run into things:

*double facepalm*

And stealing a cop car:

Oh, COME ON!

It’s no wonder the president is such a staunch opponent of alcohol abuse.

“I tell my kids no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes,” he said during an interview three years ago with Dr. Mehmet Oz. “But the world is so competitive that if you’re stuck on drugs or alcohol, you’re not going to be able to compete. It’s going to be a disaster. And you know, it potentially can ruin your life.”

He knows that for a fact because alcohol ruined his deceased brother’s life.

HERE’S WHAT YOU’RE MISSING …

“I had a great brother named Fred,” he said. “He was a very handsome guy, the life of the party. Just this incredible guy. Probably around college time he started drinking a little bit and then a little bit more and a little bit more. And he really destroyed his life.”

“He was so incredible. He had everything you could want. The best looking, the best personality. He had everything. Smart. But I watched and he would tell me, he knew he had a problem. I was quite a bit younger than him. He would tell me, no drugs, no alcohol.”

Fred died in 1981 at the young age of 43.

So yes, while it’s fun to watch drunk people do stupid things, alcoholism itself is no laughing matter. And that’s why it’d greatly behoove the woman who almost got arrested in Wichita Falls for acting like a fool to put aside the alcohol and follow the lead of these inspirational folks:

Well done!

HERE’S WHAT YOU’RE MISSING …

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Vivek Saxena

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