Monica Lewinsky says she felt gutted by Bill Clinton, and she wants a chance to talk to Hillary in person

The moment when then-President Bill Clinton lied to the American people, announcing in January of 1998 that he “did not have sexual relations with that woman,” is a moment that “that woman,” former White House intern Monica Lewinsky, will never forget.

“I was gutted,” she says in an upcoming six-part docuseries for A&E, according to Fox News. “I felt anger. I was hurt, having been called ‘that woman.’ But at the same time, there was a part of me that was glad he did that. Because I wanted him to deny it. I did not want him to lose his job. You know, it was impossible to imagine what was about to unfold.”

Listen to Clinton’s 1998 announcement below:

What ultimately unfolded between the start of Lewinsky’s affair with Clinton in 1995 to the then-president’s impeachment in 1998 will be explored in-depth in the docuseries, “The Clinton Affair,” which is reportedly set to air Sunday and is based on 20 hours of interviews with Lewinsky and insight from 50 other people associated with the infamous scandal.

50 other people not including Clinton and his wife, former first lady Hillary Clinton. The two refused to participate in the docuseries and also refused a request for comment from Fox News, not that Lewinsky feels any anger toward them. If anything, she feels sadness and regret.

“I felt terrible for Mrs. Clinton, I felt awful for Chelsea [Clinton]. It was such a raw exposure,” she says in the documentary, describing her reaction to the publication of the Starr Report on Sept. 11, 1998.

Prepared by independent counsel Kenneth Starr, the report outlined Clinton’s infidelity, his history of improper behavior and his lies to the American people — and ultimately served as the comprehensive piece of evidence needed for the GOP-controlled House to impeach him from office.

Though Lewinsky technically already apologized to Hillary and Chelsea during a 1999 interview with Barbara Walters, she revealed in an accompanying op-ed written this week for Vanity fair that she’d like to apologize to the former first lady again, preferably in person.

“If I were to see Hillary Clinton in person today, I know that I would summon up whatever force I needed to again acknowledge her — sincerely — how very sorry I am,” she reportedly wrote. “I know I would do this because I have done it in other difficult situations related to 1998.”

“I have also written letters apologizing to others — including some who also wronged me gravely. I believe that when we are trapped by our inability to evolve, by our inability to empathize humbly and painfully with others, then we remain victims ourselves.”

But some would argue that it’s Lewinsky who deserves an apology, for it was Hillary’s husband who victimized her, Hillary who some claim enabled her husband’s behavior and Hillary who some allege orchestrated the smearing of her husband’s victims, including Lewinsky.

“I was alleged to have been saying I was going to D.C. to get my presidential kneepads, which I never said,” Lewinsky says. “People started to chip away at my integrity and my character.”

People spurred to action by the Clinton family’s team of sycophants in the media: “I was crushed by the lack of any support in the media,” she continues. “There didn’t seem to be too much humanity… It just knifed me. But because I was under legal quarantine, I couldn’t even speak for myself.”

Juanita Broaddrick and Paula Jones, who in the 1990s accused Clinton of rape and sexual harassment, respectively, know this feeling all too well.

“No human being was protected more than Bill Clinton was. And no human being was more harassed and ridiculed and trashed as Bill Clinton’s victims were,” Broaddrick said last year on Fox News.

Listen:

“They ridiculed us, we were called all kind of names,” Jones concurred. “We were not believed.”

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Vivek Saxena

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