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10 best punchlines from Gridiron Dinner: Trump spares no one and it was hilarious

March 4, 2018 | | Print Article

President Trump showed he can take jabs as well as he throw them when he poked fun at himself at the Gridiron Dinner in Washington, D.C., last night.

Trump joked about the media, Jared Kushner, and Democrats while first daughter Ivanka Trump stole the show in an elegant Carolina Herrera gown.

Trump kicked off by joking that he was late because his son-in-law “Jared couldn’t get through security,” the AP reported. He then added: “Ivanka, you’ve got to do something!”

The Gridiron Dinner is longstanding D.C. tradition that features satirical remarks by the president of the United States and representatives of both political parties. President Trump skipped the Gridiron Dinner last year amid a barrage of ugly, heated attacks on him and his family.

While the media usually slam Trump by calling him thin-skinned, the billionaire proved the joke’s on them by making fun of himself throughout the swanky black-tie event.

Here are some highlights of Trump punchlines:

  • “I won’t rule out direct talks with Kim Jong Un, I just won’t. As far as the risk of dealing with a madman is concerned, that’s his problem not mine.”
  • “Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do. It’s not even close!”
  • “I was very excited to receive this invitation and ruin your evening in person. That’s why I accepted.”
  • “So many people have been leaving the White House. It’s invigorating since you want turnover. I like chaos. It really is good. Who’s going to be the next to leave? Steve Miller or Melania?”
  • “It’s been a very tough year for CNN. They’ve lost a tremendous amount of credibility this year and your best reporter, Steve Bannon. That guy leaked more than the Titanic!”
  • On The New York Times: “I’m a New York icon. You’re a New York icon. The only difference is, I still own my buildings.”

Trump said Vice President Mike Pence is patiently waiting for his impeachment so he could step into the top job.

“I really am very proud to call him The Apprentice,” Trump gushed. “But lately, Mike’s showing a particularly keen interest in the news. He is asking, ‘Has he been impeached yet?” I don’t like that.”

The president added this in-your-face dig at the media, which has been relentlessly pushing the Russia collusion narrative despite no evidence: “You can’t be impeached when there’s no crime. Put that down!”

Melania Trump and POTUS at the 2018 Gridiron Dinner
Melania Trump and POTUS at the 2018 Gridiron Dinner. (Instagram)

Trump also mocked his embattled U.S. Attorney Jeff Sessions, who made a surprise appearance at the Gridiron Dinner: “I offered him a ride over and he recused himself.”

President Trump made an observation about the ruthless nature of politics.

“In one job I had to manage a cutthroat cast of characters desperate for TV time, totally unprepared for their roles and their jobs, and each week afraid of having their asses fired. And the other job, I was the host of a smash television hit.”

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President Trump closed with this dig at the haters in the media: “This is one of the best times I’ve had with the media. This might be the most fun I’ve had since watching your faces on election night!”

While there’s no official video or audio of the Gridiron Dinner, some folks shared snapshots on Twitter.

The best-dressed award definitely goes to the always-stylish Ivanka, who looked like a princess.

Ivanka Trump shared this Instagram photo before the Gridiron Dinner in Washington.
Ivanka Trump shared this Instagram photo before the Gridiron Dinner in Washington.

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Samantha Chang
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