Newsflash: Heterosexual men like heterosexual women … that’s NOT discrimination!

Is it discrimination if someone doesn’t want to date a person that doesn’t know what gender they are?

According to a recent story in Vice Magazine, it may be.

Image: Shutterstock

In it, the author, Meredith Talusan, who is gender nonconforming, lamented that he gender nonconforming friends, Jacob Tobia and Alok Vaid, who have facial hair but wear women’s clothes and makeup, cannot find dates.

Alok and Jacob are two of the most publicly visible gender nonconforming femmes I know. As a performance poet, Alok has just gone solo after touring in dozens of cities in the US and abroad as one half of the poetry duo Darkmatter. Jacob was named to 2016’s OUT 100, has made a web series for NBC, and been the subject of a GLAAD-nominated episode of MTV’s True Life. Both are trans-identified, but belong somewhere in between genders, and they’ve amassed huge social media followings as gender nonbinary, femme, and fabulous human beings. They’ve become celebrities in their own right, with Jacob regularly walking down the red carpet at LGBTQ galas and Alok featuring in the Janet Mock–narrated HBO documentary The Trans List.

But if you think all that would land them a date, you’d be wrong. And nobody is more puzzled than me as to why such obvious catches are having dating problems when so many clamor for their attention.

Image: Shutterstock

Tobia and Viad are attracted to men but say they are not gay.

Thus they cannot get gay men, straight men, gay women or straight women to date them.

Johns Hopkins student government says no to Chick-fil-A on campus.

Another transgender activist, Shady Shay, called a man a bigot on Twitter because he said he won’t date transgender women.

Why anyone is surprised that people don’t want to take on the mental issues of someone that doesn’t know what gender they are is anyone’s guess.

And instead of looking in the mirror and deciding that perhaps they need to address their own issues, it’s easier to blame others for being prejudiced.

But there wasn’t a ton of sympathy on social media for them.

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Carmine Sabia


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