Will 5-year-olds still eat food if you sneeze on it? YOUR tax dollars are answering questions like this!

This is your tax dollars at work, folks.

According to a new report, the federal government is spending millions of dollars to lecture Americans, texting messages directly to people with reminders and advice as well as funding unnecessary research programs.

The newly released report, “Federal Fumbles” by Sen. James Lankford, chronicles “100 ways the government dropped the ball,” uncovering over $200 billion in wasteful government spending including funding studies of the “smells” of the medieval period and customized embroidered Snuggies.

“That is the new role of a lot of these agencies,” The Oklahoma Republican said on Fox News Channel’s “Tucker Carlson Tonight” on Monday. Lankford referred to a $500,000 program to text people to discourage them from chewing tobacco and another more than $1 million spent to send texts urging mothers to keep their daughters from using tanning salons.

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“They’re trying to dream up ‘How can I actually engage on the next level: they’re still doing it, I told them not to, now I want to find some way to nag them,” Lankford said as Carlson called the actions “intrusive” and “Orwellian.”

Other wasteful spending highlighted in the report included a $2 million study on how children don’t like to eat food that’s been sneezed on and $412,000 spent by the National Science Foundation to research “human ice interactions” from a feminist point of view.

According to Fox:

The report found that the total federal debt is now over $19.5 trillion and equals about $165,575 per person. It also projects that deficits will increase above $1 trillion within the decade due to America’s aging population, and will be approximately $594 billion in Fiscal 2017.

 

Lankford explained that over $600 billion of taxpayer money is spent annually on grants, many of which are authorized with little or no oversight.

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“It’s not just that they’re wasteful,” Carslon responded. “They’re pushing a worldview and an ideological agenda on a helpless population that has no recourse. Doesn’t anybody say ‘you’re not allowed to push your stupid political theories on citizens’?”

Not very likely that a study will be funded on that topic.

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