America can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Chelsea Handler has decided to stay.
Speaking to Sen. Barbara Boxer a tearful Handler, who hosts “Chelsea” on Netflix, assured America that she was talked out of moving to Spain because, alas, America needs her.
“It’s so easy to say throw in the towel and that we’re going to leave or I’m going to move to Spain, because I want to move to Spain. I really, really want to move to Spain right now,” she told her audience through tears as she suffered an emotional breakdown, crying as she spoke.
“And everyone in my office ‘you have a responsibility, you have a voice and you need to use it and you have to be there,” she said, apparently still unaware that her voice didn’t stop President-elect Trump.
Thank God, because she, like many of her Hollywood friends who now have to back off of their promises to leave America, gave us a big scare months ago when she assured the country that she’d leave if Trump was elected.
“I did buy a house in another country just in case, so all of these people that threaten to leave the country and then don’t — I will leave the country,” she said in May.
Fortunately she changed her mind. Not for herself, mind you, but for the good of her nation.
You are welcome America.
And social media showed her the how relieved they are that she is staying.
@chelseahandler It was a hollow promise to gain support for your candidate, just like all your pals who have no connection to real Americans
— Matt Herzog (@mattth) November 10, 2016
— PaganCellarJewelry (@BillyGuest) November 10, 2016
@chelseahandler the more voices like yours were heard, the more people turned to vote for Trump. So please, continue.
— Blackburn Review©®™ (@BlackburnReview) November 10, 2016
@chelseahandler You weren’t going anywhere… Nice job flipping it around to make it look like you’re the crusader
— Beer Club Brandon (@10SecndsOfTaint) November 10, 2016
— Trump’s WreckingBall (@JanJohnsonFL) November 10, 2016
@chelseahandler so the liberal translation is “I lied about leaving so let me overinflate my ego even more and pretend I’m needed”
— CiBorg ♍️ (@ciborg2) November 10, 2016
@chelseahandler tired of all these Celebrities pretending they know what real people want. What a win for Conservative America.
— cecilia slater (@cgs24) November 10, 2016
@chelseahandler Don’t be like that to us! Please honor your word and GTFO.
— K. Ritzthomer (@HKTFree) November 10, 2016
Ok. Perhaps only Spain wa relieved.
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