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Hillary explains everything: ‘I’m really not even a human being’

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Another Round Hillary ClintonHillary Clinton made a shocking revelation in a recent interview that does a lot to explain her boring speeches as well as her heartless nature.

I’m really not even a human being,” she told two gushing reporters, Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton, from BuzzFeed’s “Another Round” podcast.

“I noticed you never sweat, like physically – what is your deodorant situation?” is the actual question asked by two people, who purport to be reporters, of the leading Democratic candidate for President of the United States.

“Like, what is your secret?” they pressed, when Clinton didn’t seem to know how to answer.

Clinton said she used to be nervous when she started in the political world, but after 40 years she isn’t as nervous. But these hard-hitting journalists weren’t going to let that evasive answer stop them.

“Do you have a spray situation? Is it a liquid? I’m not joking,” they asked.

“Solid. Solid block. I like the solid. Solid block is much better,” Clinton replied.

That has to be a huge relief to the family of the late Ambassador Chris Stevens, who was killed after desperate pleas for help in Beghazi were allegedly unheeded by then-Secretary of State Clinton.

Perhaps Clinton’s own words do more to explain her seemingly cold exterior.

“I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago. People think that, you know, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it. Oh no. I mean, a man whose name shall remain nameless created me in his garage,” Clinton told Buzzfeed.

ANOTHER ROUND: Are there more of you?

HILLARY CLINTON: I thought he threw away the plans, at least that’s what he told me when he programmed me — that there would be no more. I’ve seen more people that kind of don’t sweat, and other things, that make me think maybe they are part of the new race that he created: the robot race.

ANOTHER ROUND: So there’s a cyborg army is what you’re saying.

HILLARY CLINTON: But you have to cut this, you can’t tell anybody this. I don’t want anybody to know this. This has been a secret until here we are in Davenport, Iowa, and I’m just spillin’ my electronic guts to you.

ANOTHER ROUND: And without bourbon.

HILLARY CLINTON: Without any bourbon. Yeah. That’s why I have to wait ‘til the end of the day.

Carmine Sabia


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