Powered by Topple

‘Undercover’ reporter goes topless in Times Square; ‘the least crazy thing on the block!’

Powered by Topple


A reporter who went undercover as a naked painted girl in Times Square emerged “full of girl power,” saying “I’m Team Topless” and calling efforts to remove the girls sexist.

Amber Jamieson published her exposé Sunday in the New York Post about her seven-hour shift as a “desnuda,” in which she wore nothing but flip-flops, a blue Victoria’s Secret thong, and her birthday suit, “I always wanted to end up on Broadway, but not like this.”

But she immersed herself in the role quite naturally.

“The weird thing is that this doesn’t feel that weird,” I say to my fellow painted lady, Amanda.

She nods. “It’s actually really fun!” she replies.

And it is.


Working a 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift, Jamieson endured curious tourists, giggling teenage boys, and legions of gawkers who stood back but wouldn’t approach for their personal photo. “After walking a mile in their headdresses, I realize the fight against the painted ladies is deeply sexist,” she wrote.

The arrival of the topless painted women in New York City has created quite a controversy.  It’s legal for women to go topless in the Big Apple, although it’s a no-no to solicit money for photos in public parks.

Far-left Mayor de Blasio created a task force to deal with the women, saying their activity is “wrong.”  But authorities admit there’s little they can do to ban the practice, as long as the women stay within the law.

And as Jamieson describes, there are plenty of other wackos plying the square and hounding tourists.

“Painted ladies are the least crazy thing on the block,” she wrote.

Jamieson portrayed Chris and David, her “managers,” as more like bodyguards than pimps, although they demanded 30 percent of her take.  At the end of the day, she made $286, of which Chris kept $76 (he rounded up to $300 and gave her $210).

Liberals who enjoy public nakedness in full view of pubescent boys and young children see no problem with New York’s continued slide into lasciviousness.  “Of all the issues to dedicate task forces and extra cops, ­going after painted ladies seems like naked politics,” Jamieson concluded.

Perhaps it’s just naked morality for tourists to expect Times Square not to become a stripper’s paradise, or is the NY Post just cashing in on the sex angle like other Gotham newspapers?

Then again, the problem may just solve itself.

Steve Berman


Latest Articles