President Obama struck back at his critics, the media and even Vice President Joe Biden when he took the mic at Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
“Those Joe Biden shoulder massages are like magic. You should try one,” Obama said. “Oh, you have?”
Critics who oppose his repeated use of “phone and pen” to sign unilateral executive actions, he said, should know that he uses a unique decision-making process: “something that rhymes with ‘bucket list.’”
“Executive action on immigration? Bucket,” Obama said. “New climate regulations? Bucket. It’s the right thing to do. My new attitude is paying off. Look at my Cuba policy. The Castro brothers are here tonight.”
The president also took a few jabs at his former secretary of state — especially her bid to take over his room at the White House.
“Just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa,” Obama said.
He poked at Clinton’s incognito visit — sunglasses and all — at an Ohio Chipotle restaurant, comparing it to a stop made by a possible Democratic challenger.
“Not to be outdone, Martin O’Malley went completely unrecognized at a Martin O’Malley campaign event,” he quipped.
Of course, the night wouldn’t have been complete without the president taking a few potshots at Republicans.
“Galileo believed the Earth revolved around the sun. Ted Cruz believes the Earth revolves around Ted Cruz,” he said of the senator from Texas, a GOP presidential hopeful.
“And Donald Trump is here … still,” Obama said of the real estate mogul who always threatens to run for president — but never does.
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush took heat, too – for his admission that he once identified himself as Hispanic on a form.
“Look, I understand,” Obama said. “It’s an honest mistake. It reminds me when I identified myself as American back in 1961.”
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