A homeless man with a need for speed – among other things – stole an ambulance late Sunday because he wanted to go to a strip club – and there weren’t any buses running!
Well, It was an emergency pic.twitter.com/RkcXgPKUrs
— Matt Dawson (@SaintRPh) December 2, 2014
“He told the deputy he was hoping to go to the [strip club] to see some pole dancing,” Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard told the Oakland Press.
Well, there are worse reasons to steal a hideously expensive piece of life-saving machinery, stocked to the gills with drugs that can bring a whole lot of cash on the street.
The theft was reported about 11 p.m. from McLaren Oakland Hospital, where EMT taking a patient to the emergency room had left the vehicle unlocked with the keys in the ignition inside and the engine running, the Press reported.
It was apparently too tempting a target for the homeless man, who was unidentified in various reports.
He isn’t too good at resisting temptation.
The ambulance was eventually located when authorities tracked a cell phone that had been left inside. The thief, who is said to have mental health problems, surrendered without incident.
He might be crazy, but he knows how to catch a ride.
“Apparently, he said there was no public transportation available,” Bouchard told the Press. “Again, you can’t make this up.”
If libs used arguments like this for high-speed rail, they might have a better chance.
Twitter, of course, had a ball with the story.
@leafs4442 Yeah nobody would notice a ambulance at a strip club.
— Dee K (@Dee_Kujo) December 2, 2014
I’m gonna assume this guy had an urgent medical need to get to the strip club. http://t.co/if6fwG9iZi via @detroitnews
— Gary Miles (@GaryMiles_DN) December 1, 2014
@SaintRPh @JonahNRO They said to call an ambulance if it lasted more than 4 hours.
— Scott Stein (@sstein) December 2, 2014
Ahem.
Even if he’d made it to the club, it’s unclear how much fun he’d have had.
Do homeless guys carry a lot of dollar bills?
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