Homeless guy steals ambulance to go to strip club: cites lack of public transportation

A homeless man with a need for speed – among other things – stole an ambulance late Sunday because he wanted to go to a strip club – and there weren’t any buses running!

“He told the deputy he was hoping to go to the [strip club] to see some pole dancing,” Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard told the Oakland Press.

Well, there are worse reasons to steal a hideously expensive piece of life-saving machinery, stocked to the gills with drugs that can bring a whole lot of cash on the street.

The theft was reported about 11 p.m. from McLaren Oakland Hospital, where EMT taking a patient to the emergency room had left the vehicle unlocked with the keys in the ignition inside and the engine running, the Press reported.

It was apparently too tempting a target for the homeless man, who was unidentified in various reports.

He isn’t too good at resisting temptation.

The ambulance was eventually located when authorities tracked a cell phone that had been left inside. The thief, who is said to have mental health problems, surrendered without incident.

He might be crazy, but he knows how to catch a ride.

“Apparently, he said there was no public transportation available,” Bouchard told the Press. “Again, you can’t make this up.”

If libs used arguments like this for high-speed rail, they might have a better chance.

Twitter, of course, had a ball with the story.

Ahem.

Even if he’d made it to the club, it’s unclear how much fun he’d have had.

Do homeless guys carry a lot of dollar bills?

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