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Michelle Obama vows to help ‘confused and bewildered’ moms shop for groceries

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First lady Michelle Obama has vowed to help “confused and bewildered” moms wandering aimlessly in the aisles of America’s grocery stores.

The help won’t come in lower prices, but in redesigned nutrition labels that will bold calories and “added sugar” and will more accurately describe serving sizes, according to CNS News.

“As consumers and as parents, we have a right to understand what’s in the food we’re feeding our families,” Obama said Thursday in a press conference at the White House. “Because that’s really the only way that we can make informed choices — by having clear, accurate information.”

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Fresh off declaring that “young people are knuckleheads” when it comes to signing up for healthcare, the first lady seems to think moms are equally inept at shopping.

“So there you stood, alone in some aisle in a store, the clock ticking away at the precious little time remaining to complete your weekly grocery shopping, and all you could do was scratch your head, confused and bewildered, and wonder, is there too much sugar in this product?” she said.

Saying hapless moms want to do the right thing, Obama suggested many give up in defeat because they can’t decipher current nutritional labels without “a thesaurus, a calculator, a microscope or a degree in nutrition.”

“This stream of questions and worries running through your head when all you really wanted to know was, should I be eating this or not?” she said, according to CNS News. “Is this good for my kids or not? And if it is healthy, how much of it should I be eating?”

Thankfully, we have big government to help us make such difficult decisions.

Tom Tillison


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