Out of work actor Charlie Sheen unleashes bizarre rant against Phil Robertson

It was almost nine-and-a-half tweets, but it still only half made sense.

Hollywood half-wit Charlie Sheen issued a 1,301-character rambling diatribe against “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson on Saturday, using the miracle of Twitpicto assure a waiting world that he, Charlie Sheen, disapproves of Robertson’s remarks.

charliesheen1222He also assures a waiting world that he, Charlie Sheen, considers Robertson to be brainless, unwashed and generally unfit for the television stardom he was suspended from on Wednesday night. (Or more or less what most of the world thinks of Charlie Sheen.)

Sheen of course, knows from suspensions. In an erratic career marked by various stages of unemployment, drug rehabs and public breakdowns, Sheen’s been famous as much for the work he’s suspended or fired from as anything he’s actually accomplished.

His most recent flare-up were drug and alcohol problems that got him fired from the sitcom “Two and a Half Men” in 2011 and judging by the coherence of his contribution to the Robertson story, he isn’t making much progress on the recovery front.

And he also knows from bad publicity, of course – and says Robertson is in “the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media beat down,” but any potential sympathy disappears in a wave of PC insults tailor-made for Sheen to gin up his own sympathy by showing solidarity with the Hollywood libs.

With Sheen’s screen, Robertson joins a long list of entertainment writers, directors and producers who’ve been on the receiving end of Charlie Sheen’s public wrath.

He’d probably care even less than the rest.

Sorry, Charlie. On his worst day, Phil Robertson’s twice the man you are.

This rant proves it.


hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
beat down.
(I’ll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)

your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.

the idea that you have a job
outside of dirt-clod stacking
is a miracle.

the only ‘Dynasty’ you are attached to might be the
re-runs of that dated show.

the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it’s sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.

shame on you.
you’re the only surviving
brain donor I’ve ever known.

when the gators and Egrets
kick you out of their
you need to make serious amends to those you have
radically offended.

on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I’m pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.

repulsed by you;
c sheen

hash tag;
Duck; that was me.


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