Ever wonder what polling firms do on their down time?

They take polls!

Amid a slow news week — with the State Department meltdown in Benghazi occupying congressional hearings and career diplomats using a national TV platform to accuse a Democratic president’s administration of lying  — Public Policy Polling found former ‘N Sync crooner Justin Timberlake with a comfortable lead in a presidential contest with other pop stars.

The polling firm is widely recognized as tilting left, so much so that it’s routinely described in news copy as a firm with deep ties to the Democratic Party. Even New York Times polling guru Nate Silver says it leans toward Democrats.

So it’s perfectly predictable that a polling firm for the party of the pop star president will conduct a poll identifying progressive preferences in a pretend presidential primary.

The poll shows Timberlake – last seen crooning for the first couple at a White House bash in April – well ahead of his contemporaries in a presidential matchup.

According to Public Policy Polling, Timberlake received a whopping 34 percent of the vote in an eight-entertainer field. Still, that’s not a majority, so Timberlake could face a runoff with second-place finisher Adele (19 percent), except that she was born in England, and almost everyone knows by now you have to be a natural-born citizen of the United States to be president.

Or maybe that’s a touchy subject with Democratic polling firms.

That leaves the real second-place finish to runner-up Beyonce – the noted inauguration lip-syncer and Super Bowl soft-porn star – who got 14 percent.

Rounding out the field, according to the poll,  were Jay-Z (Beyonce’s husband) and Lady Gaga, tied at 9 percent; Justin Bieber (another foreigner, from Canada) with 8 percent; Chris Brown with 5 percent, and Rihanna bringing up the rear with 2 percent, though she’s also a foreigner, from Barbados.

If the election were held today, as the saying goes, only Jay-Z, at 43 years old, would meet the constitutionally required minimum age of 35.

Is it just a silly distraction? Sure. But one point is interesting to note. Even a poll by Public Policy Polling, a firm with deep ties to the Democratic Party, ranked a white male at the top of its list of presidential contenders.
As B.B. King once said, “The thrill is gone.”

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Joe Saunders

Joe Saunders, a 25-year newspaper veteran, is a staff writer and editor for BizPac Review who lives in Tallahassee and covers capital and Florida politics. Email Joe at [email protected].

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