Opinion

Jack Furnari: Adam Hasner Attacked by Zombies!

godzillaIf radiation from the Fukushima nuclear site floated over to Florida and awakened a Godzilla-like pre-historic creature that proceeded to wreak havoc up and down the coast of Palm Beach County, according to some, I would be responsible for it.

If an asteroid infected with a zombie virus crashed into Earth and caused the dead to rise and walk among us, ala George Romero, according to some, I would be responsible for it.

So I am not surprised that Rick Wilson of Adam Hasner’s U.S. Senate campaign blamed me in George Bennett’s column for instigating an ethics complaint against Hasner.

After all, Diana Demarest talks to BizPacReview.com and says hello to me if I pass her on the street, so obviously, we are both Illuminati, and Obama’s birth certificate is buried in her backyard in The Acreage.

That the Hasner campaign attacked George Lemieux a zillion years before the election, which is never a good sign for the attacking campaign, and that this could be a counter-attack, seems not to have occurred to the Hasner camp.

After all, Lemieux may indeed be a RINO, as Hasner claims, but Lemieux is skinny, he looks like Howdy Doody, and his name does not end in a vowel. Lemieux just isn’t qualified to be a “Vatican Assassin Warlock” the way I am.

It’s OK,  though. I understand there is no better way for a campaign that’s flailing around in obscurity to get a mention in the Palm Beach Post than by blaming me for something.

Careful, though, because next time I am unfairly accused, I might just use my Vulcan mind-meld techniques to summon mole men from the center of the Earth. Center-Earth mole men are big fans of mine, and they have powerful ray guns that can melt politicians into quivering blobs of Jello.

mole-menn

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Jack Furnari

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